


I'm Sorry If I Say I Need Ya

by Vas_Zappenin_Zouis



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alpha Harry, Alpha Liam, Alpha Zayn, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M, Fluffy, Omega Louis, Omega Niall, Shameless Smut, Unplanned Pregnancy, angsty, but more fluff, gender swap, girl louis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-22
Updated: 2014-01-30
Packaged: 2018-01-02 09:14:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 23,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1055045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vas_Zappenin_Zouis/pseuds/Vas_Zappenin_Zouis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis is a boy, he swears on his life hes a boy, but he's not. She just wanted to join a fraternity to get closer to this gorgeous green eyed boy who identified as gay and who kinda happened to be an Alpha. But in her defense they were totally meant to be when their eyes met, drinkingly on Harry's part, across the dance floor a year ago. And it really doesn't help that she's an Omega either.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I'm Sorry If I Say I Need Ya

Louis stretched her hands above her head yawning quietly feeling her muscles tense pleasingly before dropping them to the desk snatching up her pencil. She let her eyes roam around the room drifting from head to head until the doors burst open and in came Harry. With his curls wildly strewn about his face and emerald green eyes frantically searching the room for their professor- who was also late. She watched him place an, abnormally large, hand over his chest before walking up the steps to the back row where he took his seat next to her.

She couldn’t help herself from looking down over his body, Jesus his jeans were tighter than hers, before flickering back up to his eyes where he was smirking at her in return.

”See somethin’ ya like, Lou?” She sputtered reaching forward to smack at him before he caught her hand in his, shit the size difference turned her on, gently rubbing his thumb over her knuckles and rolled his eyes.

”I swear Lou, ya such a girl.” Harry set his bag on the floor digging through it rolling his eyes.

She tensed up pulling her hand away from his swiftly turning to look at the front of the class feeling his eyes on her body making her self conscious. Sure she did the best she could to look more manly but how manly could she _really_ get with her sot pixie features, thick curves, small hands, and her once bellybutton length hair. It probably sounds crazy because Louis could have gotten any guy she wanted with the flutter of her gorgeously long eyelashes but Harry he was different. And by different he was, and claims to be, gay. It practically broke her heart in two because he swore when their eyes met and they talked all night it wasn’t just her there was _something_ there. So over the summer she cut her hair _short_ , learned to bind her C-Cups quite successfully with great discomfort, and started wearing men’s clothing. But nothing could change the fact that she was an Omega but thankfully male omegas were openly welcomed in the university so it made things a little bit easier.

Well that was until she hit her heat. Earlier in the year she can remember getting to her and Niall’s room, thanking Jesus that Niall’s Alpha Liam was in a rut leaving her to her lonesome. However her favorite dildo was back home leaving her panting and screaming for relief that came in the form of one of her old flames Zayn. She called him begging for him practically crying in pain until he literally had to break through the door’s lock and fucked her into oblivion days and days alike. It literally broke her heart at the end of her heat when Zayn stare at her with his wide soft eyes asking why she was being such a twat and not seeing what was in front of her. Since then Zayn hasn’t answered a phone call or text from her.

To her surprise though people did take to her as a man easily, with the help of her best friend Niall teaching her his _manly_ ways. She pledged a fraternity, Harry’s and Niall’s fraternity, and got in. Hazing was hell, when is it not though? She somehow managed to keep all her clothing on during the process, thanks her to snarky comments and sarcastic wit. She was blessed with gaining her best friend as her roomie but right across the hall was her very own sex God Harry. And literally he could have been she’s heard the men he’s taken into the room.

Groaning she grabbed her bag slinging it over her shoulder before slipping past Harry gaining a confused look from him.

“‘m not stickin’ ‘round here for some rude ass Professor when I could be gettin’ some tea and a muffin.” Jesus she was fucking hungry, she woke up late and had to wait until the bathrooms were completely empty to shower leaving her without breakfast. It was a hassle, yes, but Louis knew this was worth it.

She heard shuffling beside her as she walked Harry stand up slinging his bag over his shoulder before narrowing her eyes and shoving his chest.

”You’re not coming. I need to think.” She spit a little too harshly watching pure disappointment wash over his features before feeling his hand tightly grip her arm making her whimper and bow her head submissively feeling his lips near her ear.

”Don’t talk to me like that I can go if I want.” But Louis has always been an Omega who never obeyed the rules and stood up for herself, she’s been branded a Beta on several occasions for her rash action and complete neglect for Omega rules. Snatching her arm away she narrowed her eyes at him with a huff turning on her heel and stomping away quickly trying to avoid being near him.

And apparently two weeks meant avoiding Harry at parties, in their Frat house, and classes and she was exhausted. Her phone was buzzing with 10 unread messages from the Curly Haired lad but she couldn’t will herself to read them nor could she to get out of bed or make an effort to bind her tits, they were sore and she knew her heat was soon. Staying home on a Friday night was a rare occurrence, unless of course the party was at their home but this week it was Kappa’s week and she thanked the Lord because she was running out of suppressants and didn’t need about twenty Alpha’s pouncing on her at the moment. Sitting on her bed with her short shorts on fresh out of the shower with her shaved legs and hair dripping wet into her eyes she flicked it sideways deciding against getting it cut knowing this was all some sort of mistake. She wanted her long hair, tight clothes, and free will to be herself again. Niall even told her this was getting ridiculous when she practically begged him to help her out with her with her heat- and no she wasn’t asking for his dick she just needed him to help her find _someone_. He told her to get over herself and ironically man up to Harry. Like that was going to happen.

She was curled up on the couch mindlessly eating some ice-cream when she felt a wave of heat rock through her body leading her to drop her ice cream on the floor whimpering as she bucked her hips. Biting down on her bottom lip she felt her cheeks flush and her vision hazed a bit. She lolled her head from side to side feeling another wave of heat scorch through her body making her skin feel as if it were about to burn right off her bones. She felt her fringe began to stick to her heated skin dampening a deep brown where it stuck to her cheeks and forehead as she whimpered yanking at her t-shirk to get it away from her.

Her mind was screaming to get a knot- to just _call Zayn_ and beg he could never resist her but an Alpha’s smell hit her senses making her moan as she kicked off her shorts _needing_ to feel something. She reached down feeling herself practically leaking from wetness as she rubbed over her clit with two fingers her legs spread wide as her hips bucked as she inhaled deeply leading her hips to jolt up as she came her back arching with a scream of Harry’s name and- what?

Louis fell into a heap on the couch the edge slightly taken off for a moment but every fiber of her being just _screamed_ for a knot and not just anyone’s knot _Harry’s_ knot because the alpha she was smelling was indeed Harry.

Looking over at the door with hazy eyes there he was standing with the door wide open an obscenely huge bulge in his pants with a mixture of complete and utter shock and lust swirling in his now dilated pupils. He stood not moving just staring at her hungrily leading her to whimper as she reached her free hand down beginning to finger herself as she frantically rubbed at her clit once more practically crying for release.

”Please Haz- Harry you need- Fuckkkkk.” She moaned out throwing her head back as she felt her thighs shaking as she clenched around her finger arching her back up once more her body completely covered in a sheen of sweat. She swallowed back looking over at him her pink lips parted in silent begging before squeezing her eyes shut feeling rejection wash over her body.

Tear well up in her eyes as another flash of unbearable heat wreck through her body leaving her crying out for a knot barely able to hear the completely animal like snarl that came from Harry before he slammed the door shut ripping off his clothing as she walked over to her taking a moment to toss his pants aside before his Alpha sense took over grabbing her and hoisting her up as she automatically wrapped her legs tightly around his waist grinding down on his cock moaning obscenely gripping onto his shoulders.

”Want my knot? Is that what ya want?” Harry growled in her eat gripping onto her thighs so tightly she felt as if he fingers were becoming part of her skin.

”P-please Harry need your k-knot.” Louis moaned rolling her hips down on his cock feeling her body jolt at the contact of him rubbing over her sensitive clit.

Harry turned slamming her against the wall earning a gasp in return before he bottomed out in one thrust leading Louis to arch her back obscenely as she screamed out clawing at his back in a swirl of pleasure and pain.

”Bet ya like it rough don’t you slut?” Louis whimpered in response her head falling back to bang onto the wall as he thrusts into her violently grunting as he wrapped a hand around her waist to hold her in place and a hand above her shoulder to keep her from sliding too far up the wall as he angled his hips and thrusted harder into her.

”H-Harry! Fuuuuuughhhh.” She felt her toes curl as clenched around his cock trying to meet his thrust eagerly but her hips erratically bucked until she felt her whole body shake as she came around Harry’s cock feeling him pull almost fully out her slick leaking out over his dick before he shoved back in making her claw desperately at his chest tears streaming down her cheeks.

”H-hurts! T-too much!” Louis cried but Harry continued his vicious thrusts until he bottomed out rotating his hips and Louis felt his knot pop inside of her causing her to orgasm once more clenching around his knot milking out his own orgasms all the sweeter as he moaned out someone else’s name in her ear filthily.

Louis’ tears began to pool in her eyes again for a different pain as Harry slipped down the wall trapping her in between his body and the wall hand still gripping at her waist encircling her and the other on the floor beside him to steady him head resting against the wall.

”You lied to me.” Harry finally spoke in a deep rumbling voice causing Louis to shrink back into the wall tugging at his knot making her moan out her eyes rolling to the back off her head in over stimulation.

”Don’t fuckin’ move.” He ordered and Louis body became pliant for him. She couldn’t bear a glace over at his face knowing that he’d be nothing but completely disgusted with her.

”Why did you lie?” Harry asked his voice sounding strangely broken. Louis just shrugged and turned her face to her shoulder looking at Niall’s side of the room trying to count to number of socks he has strewn over his floor.

”Answer me!” Using his Alpha voice as he dug his fingernails into her hip Louis shrunk trying to curl up to herself whimpering out her response.

”Y-you’re gay.. I just I f-felt it between us when we met.. I f-felt a bond but y-you’re gay so I just.. T-thought this would work.” She bit down on her bottom lip tears streaming hotly down her cheeks before she felt Harry slip out of her his knot had gone down making her cringe as he practically dropped her to the floor.

”And ya didn’t think I’d ever see ya naked.” He stood up gesturing to her body making her bring her knees up to her chest hugging her legs to her body swallowing back. “A-and I can’t-” He tugged at his curls looking everywhere in the room but at her.

She was just tired she wanted to sleep so as he rambled on about how angry he was her eyes slipped closed as she fell asleep tucked up against the wall needing rest until the next wave of her heat knowing she’d be at it alone.

But she wasn’t alone when she woke up the next time or, in fact, for the next four days of her heat. He was there satisfying her heat and everyday he grew more and more gentle with her.

Louis way laying under Harry her body trembling from her last orgasm as she felt his fingertips caress down her side as his lips whisper light words in her ear.

”Doin’ so good, baby. Almost done, so good.” He spoke as he connected his lips to her neck lightly trailing kisses along her sweaty flushed skin. Submissively Louis bared her neck to Harry her eyes fluttering closed feeling his soft lips trail hotly over her collarbones before he pulled back making her look over at him blushing.

”I can’t.” He whispered and Louis’ face fell her eyes prickling with tears as she turned her face away from him. Of course he couldn't he's gay an-

"Look at me." Louis swallowed back but nevertheless obeyed looking over at Harry with tears spilling over when she saw his green piercing eyes staring back at her with such intensity. "You're beautiful Louis, Louise? Lou.." She snorted rolling her eyes and covering his mouth with her hands.

"I don't wanna hear this I want your knot to g-go down and you to leave.." She spoke as evenly as she could turning away from him staring at the specks on the walls trying to make figures out of them.

Once she felt him pull out she curled into herself rolling so her back was with the room and listened for the door closing to sob into the pillow that smelt of nothing but Harry's scent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I always wanted to take a shot at an A/B/O fic. If you guys want I can write more if not I can just end it here, aha. I actually really enjoyed writing this and might turn it into a small like fic. This was just to get me out of the rut so I can write more chapters for my other fic. (: Thank you for reading!
> 
> Comments and Kudos are mucho appreciated, heh. x


	2. Either You Want Me Or You Don't

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis smells off and Harry really doesn't like it.

Two months have gone by since her heat in September. And honestly Louis doesn't know what was worse in her eyes- the fact that Harry can completely pretend nothing happened between them and still treats her as a boy or that he's told no one. Her friends ask her if she's alright of course because whenever he's around she get's tense and makes excuses to leave. Being around him is harder now because she _felt something_ those five days in bed with him. And well of course she felt the obvious but in her eyes they connected and for him to just move on like he didn't realize she was a _she_ made her believe something was completely off with the boy.

So over the past two months she's given up on binding her tits mostly because, _"Niall they're fucking sore and they're growing so its hard to bind."_ and cutting her hair. Which led to her always wearing hoodie, which gave away nothing due to the rapidly chilling weather, and a nice pixie cut that lets her wear headbands and clips while in her dorm room.

Better news, for Liam and Niall, was that she decided that next semester she applied to come back as Louis Tomlinson rather than Louis William. Which gives her exactly thirty-five days to survive until winter break and she was home free. And she could do that as long as Harry wasn't around and she could get a hold of Zayn next month for her heat. What was she kidding Harry was _always_ there practically hovering whenever in a group setting and Zayn hasn't answered back one of her hundred and ten text messages.

Sure things were okay though since she spent most of her time in the room or at the gym begging Liam to entertain her- which usually ended with a certain Alpha using his voice and telling her to go home but hey it was always fun to annoy someone in her free time. On special occasions she'd hang out in the library but that's when she'd find Harry who would hover over her with their Frat Brothers and annoy the shit out of her cause to be frank her patience for these guys- Harry, was about the size of the tips of her fingernails- which she bites to the nub.

So maybe when she thought this whole idea was going to solve everything and help her get the guy she was overly optimistic and drunk but Jesus could she use a drink. She hadn't been to a party since Frat Week at the beginning of the year and she needed something to help with the edge.

Which is why she was standing in front of the mirror currently in a pair of tight skinny jeans, her chest painfully bound, and her hair skillfully styled up into a hot mess. Jesus she made a gorgeous gay man. She slipping on a sweater over her shirt in effort to help cover her tits and steal some warmth from the dark night outside.

Walking downstairs she was met with a throng of her sorority brothers greeting her with, very painful, chest bumps and than there he was. Wearing his signature skinning, _skinny_ jeans with a button up white shirt buttoned up barely giving a deep plunge, arms rolled up to his elbows, and those strangely fabulous scuffed brown boots. She wanted to vomit- nope she had to vomit.

Quickly walking down the hallway she slipping into the bathroom vomiting her brains out into the toilet until she was dry heaving with a white knuckled grip on the toilet gasping for hair. Jesus Christ, what the hell was going on? Standing up she flushed the toilet and stood in front of the mirror wiping her mouth with the back of her hand when blue clashed with green making her body go rigid.

"Next time ya vomitin' up from ya preparatory antics ya might wanna shut the door." Harry spoke before winking and shutting the door leaving her there to clean herself up pale faced and shaking.

The party was loud and there were already people running around half naked and dry humping against the walls. She couldn't tell is she was appalled or jealous, either way she really needed a drink.

Making her way over to the drinking table was almost impossible seeing as right when she tried to get through the dance floor she was pulled in by two girls whole practically held her captive in a sandwich of too much breast and ass. Once she managed to separate herself from the thirsty sorority girls she was pulled into helping judge a wet t-shirt contest and what? It was snowing outside and these girls were pouring beer over their tits? Beer. Jesus she wanted beer.

You would think being at a Frat party there would be beer accessible everywhere but nope she couldn't manage to get one God damn Solo Cup in her hand for two hours because her damn Frat Brother dragged her from game to game to be a judge and when the hell did she become the sober one?

Once she finally slipped away she was walking down the dimmed hallway to the kitchen when she felt a large warm hand on her waist twisting her and trapping her against the wall leaving her breathless. Only one person has ever taken her breath away and looking up into his clouded green eyes she swallowed back knowing she was fucked.

"Where have ya been all night, Lou?" Harry whispered leaning in so he was whispering directly in her ear making her shiver as he lifted his other hand palm flat against the wall trapping her in his hold.

"Been 'round, Styles. Where have ya been?" She spoke trying to sound nonchalant but she could swear he heard her heart pounding widely in her chest over the deep thrum of the bass pounding through the walls.

"Been looking for ya." He muttered lowly in her ear as he dipped his hand under the fabric of her shirt kissing down her jaw and shit. She was not going to let him do this to her, not now. She was going to get everything back on track and he was completely wasted.

Louis couldn't help but reach her hands up wrapping around his neck and pulling herself closer to him her skin burning everywhere their skin touched. She felt him kissing down her neck leading her to turn her head submissively bearing it to him feeling his hot tongue flicker out licking a strip up her neck before his body froze up his grip on her hip becoming painful.

"H-Harry ya hurtin' me.." She whimpered before she felt his hand roughly grab her chin moving her until they were looking into each others eyes. His pupils were blown and she could feel the rage flowing off him leading her to shrink back against the wall her bottom lip trembling.

"Who is he?" Harry practically growled intensely staring into her eyes.

"H- what?" Louis gasped feeling Harry's hands grip at her waist tighter making her flinch.

"Who. Have. Ya. Slept. With!?" What has sh- _what?!_. She clenched her jaw reaching up and slapping Harry as hard as she could across the cheek completely outraged. He let go of her stepping back fully shocked as she stepped closer to him standing on her toes pointing in his face.

"I've only slept with ya! Fuc-" She was cut off by him literally picking her up and throwing her over his shoulder as she beat at his back kicking at him screaming for him to put her down.

"Stop." He growled her body going completely pliant in his arms as she heard wolf whistles calling after them as he moved them upstairs. She prayed that he couldn't feel her heart beating rapidly against his back as he pushed the door open harshly before kicking it shut and dropping her down onto the bed crawling to hover over her.

"'m gonna ask ya one more time Louis, who is he?" Harry growled into her ear reaching above her to trap her hands above her head. She fought against his hands feeling tears well up in her eyes frantically shaking her head. "Don't lie!" He dug his fingernails into her wrist making her whimper.

"N-no one Ha-Harry please.. I h-haven't slept with a-anyone but you.." Louis cried feeling him lean up and hoping he was getting off but felt him tugging up on her shirt making her cry out shaking her head trying to keep her shirt down. But him being stronger got both her shirts off before pulling off his own and she was so internally torn. Yes she wanted him but she didn't have much time to think about it because he was hovering over her once more with that dark look in his eyes.

His hands found their way to her hips again as she pushed at his chest not wanting this when he was being so bi-polar with her but he just growled grinding down on her hips causing her to moan out raking her nails down his chest.

"Ya such a slut, sleepin' with other guys." Harry said as he rolls his hips against hers his face tucked against her neck sucking marks against her skin. "Can smell 'em on ya." He spit out nipping at her collarbone making her gasp gripping onto his biceps.

"O-only been you H-Harry." She whimpered but he bit down on her shoulder harshly making her hiss out in pain silencing her as he fumbled with the button of her jeans trying to yank them down when the door opened and the smell of another Alpha came wafting through the air causing Harry's back to go rigid as he turned looking over his shoulder at.. Liam?

"I'm here to ge-"

"Leave, _now_ " Harry growled his hands on the bed beside her shoulders gripping white knuckled at the sheets. And is Liam laughing? Louis swallowed back moving to sit up when Harry snapped his head back to look at her his lip curled up in a sneer as she tentatively reached her hands up to cup his face.

"Harry let m-"

"Mine." He said making her shiver her lips parting as her eyes fluttered closed. She wanted him, she did. Maybe she should be more aware of everyone else in the room because then she would have been prepared to feel Harry's warmth ripped from her as Liam pulled him off and yanked him to the ground pinning him to the floor.

Louis sat up quickly staring at Liam and Harry her eyes wide when Niall came rushing in and grabbing her clothes tossing them at her and telling her to quickly get dressed. She got dressed her eyes never leaving the boys on the floor when she felt Niall yank at her arm quickly looking at Niall not wanting to go now.

Louis froze when she met eyes with Harry fighting against Liam to get to her. She felt tears sting in her eyes when Niall yanked her out of the room and across the hall to their room shutting and locking it tossing her into the room and crossing his arms staring at her angrily.

"Care ta explain what ta fuck was goin' on, Louis?!" She groaned rolling her eyes and taking off her sweater and tossing it onto the couch not really wanting to 'explain what the fuck was going on' to Niall right now. She wanted to go back to Harry's room and let him have her but apparently there two had different ideas.

Niall grabbed her arm tightly turning her around making her snatch her hand away. "What the fuck, Niall! Don't touch me like that!" She shoved him away from her angrily but of course he didn't really go far. "You're _not_ an Alpha ya can't just order me 'round and tell me what to do!" She screamed before hearing the door click open as Liam slipped in his face down.

Louis watched Niall rush over to Liam looking at his face and coo at him she looked away rolling her eyes and stalked over to the closet yanking down her pants and slipping on some of her bedtime shorts and slipped off her shirt and bandage before slipping on Zayn's old hoodie before turning to them and noticing his busted lip, swollen cheek, and his eye was slightly red. Her heart immediately began racing when she thought about Harry.

"What did ya do to H-"

"Shut _up_ , Louis." She stopped midsentence when Liam spoke as he nuzzled his face into Niall's hair, the blonde tightly hugging the brunette kissing all over his neck and whatever other skin he could reach with his lips. "Have you even _smelt_ yourself lately?" And _excuse me_ what does he mean by smelling herself? She lifted her arm and smelt at her armpit furrowing her eyebrows when she just smelt her perfume and deodorant.

"'m takin' offense now Payne-O." She crossed her arms cocking her hip giving him a look and he growled.

"When. Was. Your. Last. Period?" He spoke slowly and deeply making her step back offended before thinking back and _oh_.. Oh shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine and thank you bunches for reading and asking for another chapter! I hope you'll bear with me for this it probably won't be a forever and ten days fanfic but who knows with my mind! I'm really into this fic so I promise updates will be like lightning, aha. 
> 
> Comments and Kudos are mucho appriciated, aha. x


	3. You Are Carbon and I Am Flame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis goes for her first ultrasound and meets a special someone.

Louis felt alone sitting in the cold leather seat looking around at the other pregnant woman being held and cooed at by their Alphas. Sinking down in her seat she took out her phone and send a text message to the only person she wished would be there.

 _To: Zayn_  
I miss you :(

And yeah it was a long shot but ever since Niall felt off about Liam hanging around with Louis she'd barely seen any of them and she's spent most of her time physically avoiding Harry so it wasn't like she was going to send him a text asking him to be here for her.

While she was flicking through a magazine a nurse came out and called her name. She set it down before standing up and slowly walking over to the lady and giving her a soft tentative smile. She got a reassuring one from the tall middle-aged brunette in return and looking around at the room furrowing her eyebrows.

"Darling if you want to wait for your Alp-"

"I don't have one." And the nurse wasn't the only one to look up at her. The three other pregnant pregnant couples in the room along with the staff gave her looks of either disgust or pity. Her cheeks burned not with embarrassment but anger as she quickly turned to follow the nurse down the hallway and into a room.

Louis spaced out as the doctor came in and droned on about some questions just wanting this to get over with because honestly all her energy right now was going into not crying. It felt like she only snapped back into time when they told her to lay back on the bed and lift her shirt. Swallowing back she cooperated before feeling cold liquid being splattered onto her belly making her flinch.

"Alright so we're going to try and find this little one." The nurse said with a smile as she took the wand and began to press down on her abdomen furrowing her eyebrows at the screen. Louis distracted herself with counting the posters that were littered around the walls of the room when the nurse perked up and turned the screen to Louis who refused to even flicker her eyes up at it. The nurse furrowed her eyebrows and leaning in close as if to whisper to Louis. "Don't you wanna see your baby?"

Louis stare deeply into the green eyes of the nurse and felt her stomach flip because all she could think of was Harry. With his stupid curls and irresistible dimples that got her in this exact situation and where was he? Probably off fucking some _guy_ who would never be in this situation.

Chewing on her bottom lip she finally tore her gaze from the nurse's to flicking up to the screen where she saw the little outline of the baby tilting her head. "They're tiny right now, you're about thirteen weeks along it seems and everything is perfectly healthy. Gonna get some pictures for you right here. Do you wanna see if we can hear the heartbe-"

Louis slapped the nurses hand away from her belly the screen going blank as she frantically shook her head. The wand clattered to the floor as the nurse stood up grabbing some paper towels to gently wipe down her belly before pulling Louis into her arms as she sobbed loudly. It _wasn't_ fair that she was going to do this alone.

"Shhh, baby girl 's okay." The nurse cooed leaning back to look at Louis with watery eyes of her own. "I know its hard but you don't need an Alpha for this. Whoever they are, Louis doesn't matter because you're going to be a perfect mother without them." Louis choked on a sob looking down at the lady's name tag to give her a correct thank you.

"Thank you, Miss. Cox." And the nurse waved her off shaking her head before pressing a light kiss to her head.

"Call me Anne, we're going to know each other pretty well in the next months to come." Anne said rubbing her back for another few strokes before leaning back and looking into Louis eyes again. "Are we okay now, Louis?" She asked stroking the girl's tear streaked cheek gaining a nod before she let go of her only after one more kiss to pick up the wand and grab the two pictures from the machine and hand them over to Louis.

Louis looked down at the pictures in her hands and felt the tears sting her eyes again as she swallowed back thickly pulling her shirt down over her belly and slipping to the end of the bed kicking her feet for a moment studying as Anne walked around the room fixing a few things.

"You can go, Sweetheart. The lady out front will schedule your next appointment." Anne said looking over at her and Louis just shrugged looking down at her hands. "Are you alright? Do I need to call someone for you?" And with that Louis squeezed her eyes shut feeling the tears spill over dropping onto her lap.

"There 's no one." She croaked wrapping her arms around herself because she won't be able to take the lady at the desk giving her a look of pity while the other couples stare her down with disgust. Those perfectly fucking happy couples who are bonded and _so_ giddy to be pregnant. Fuck them.

"Why don't I take you to lunch, Louis? 'm on break in a wee bit and it seems you need someone?" Anne said wrapping an arm around her and kissing the top of her head. "You can even wait right here and we'll walk out together?" And why was she being so nice? Didn't she see the worthlessness that everyone else saw?

Nevertheless Louis looked up at her with a watery smile nodding as she hopped off the table tucking the pictures into her back pocket and following Anne to the break room in the back where she got her keys and purse. They exited out the back because Louis really didn't want to be seen by the other couples without an Alpha again.

She slipped into the passenger side of Anne's black Range Rover and chewed on her bottom lip because she should be worried out of her mind right now getting into a car with a random woman but there was something about Anne that calmed her down as they drove down the road to a little dinner.

Once they were seated and Anne ordered the usual for both of them and some cinnamon hot chocolate she folded her hands and just looked at Louis like she was expecting her to say something.

"Darling what did you mean when you said you had no one?" Her voice was soft and inviting, spreading some sort of blanket of calmness over her.

"I- my friends are just caught up in their own lives being bonded and things and my family they uhm.. Aren't.. Around." She whispered the last bit playing with the fork poking her finger with the end of it.

"And the Alpha who got your pregnant?"

"He's uhm unavailable." Because Louis didn't know how Anne was about people being gay and she didn't want to explain everything but she did anyway. She told Anne about how she met a boy, who she named Edward- clever in her mind, felt like she couldn't live without him and plotted this whole scheme to win him over. The woman just sat there sipping on her hot chocolate and listening intently. Once she reached the part about the party her phone rang in her purse leading her to hold up a finger and give an apologetic smile.

"Hello son." Anne spoke smiling and Louis could hear some mumbling from the other line before the woman laughed and shook her head. "Well it seems like you should really keep better track of your love interests there." She rolled her eyes playfully and Louis could tell that she was really close with her son. "So you really called to tell me that you're freaking out because your Omega isn't in class today?" She snorted. "Oh so she's not _yours_ technically but you're still freaking out? Well love, it seems to me that you need to actually speak to this girl because you're hovering." She spoke before sighing. "Love you too, baby boy. Goodbye."

Anne hung up the phone and held it up shaking her head. "Sorry about that, love, my son was freaking out over a girl." She laughed tucking it away into her purse as the food came being set in front of both of them. "Ahh, thank you Barbara. Looks delicious as always." And was Anne right. Sitting in front of her was a stack of five blueberry pancakes topped with strawberries with bacon and two eggs on the side.

" _This_ is your usual?" Louis asked a smile over her lips.

"Well its my son's but I always get the same as him. Speaking of you should know him seeing as you go to the same UNI." Anne spoke nonchalantly as she cut up the pancakes slowly.

"Maybe, what's his name?" Louis asked furrowing her eyebrows as she tired to separate all her food to keep them from touching because she had an issue when it came to that.

"Harry Styles." She spoke and Louis dropped her silver wear to the plate creating a loud clatter as Anne looked up at her furrowing her eyebrows in confusion taking in Louis' pale face. "Darling are you alright?" She asked reaching forward to touch the back of her hand lightly to her forehead. "What's happened?"

"H-Harry Styles is your.. Your _son_?!" Louis gulped back feeling her hands trembling because was this some sort of sick joke? The first woman to be any sort of motherly toward her was Harry's _mother_? The _same_ Harry that was _gay_ and just happened to _knock her up_.

"Yes he's my son..? Is that a problem has he done something?" Anne asked and Louis couldn't help her mouth speaking before she had the chance to stop it.

"Harry _Edward_ Styles.." She gasped out before clamping her mouth shut as she watched a million and one different emotions flash over the woman's face before realization glinted in her eyes as she gasped.

"My son..?" Louis nodded wrapping her arms around herself and sinking down into the chair. She wanted to evaporate- erase her existence just like her father once wished he could have. All her thoughts of having someone gone just like that because she just told _Harry's_ mother that she was practically in love with her son and how he knocked her up and hasn't done much since but practically assault her.

"Oh, Louis, baby girl please don't cry." Anne spoke slipping into the seat beside her pulling her close in her arms kissing at her temple. She didn't even realize she was again until Anne said something. She buried her face in the older woman's shoulder shaking her head as the woman cooed over her running her fingers through her short hair and whispering little things to get her to calm down.

"'m s-so sorry, Anne I- I didn't know he- it 's not his f-fault.." Louis stuttered out as Anne just shushed her holding her tightly against her chest rubbing her back in soothing circles.

"No, it 's his fault- both of yours. But that's not important, love. You _have_ to tell him. I-." She cut herself off up and slipping into her side of the booth pulling out her phone and quickly typing at it before placing it by her ear.

Louis watched in horror as Anne's face was set in a serious look as she spoke into the phone.

"Harry come to the diner- no, no, no not later right now.. I don't _care_ if you're going to be late for work this is more important." She waited as mummers were made from the other side and shook her head. "Get over here right _now_ Harry Styles." She spoke and Louis flinched back into the chair because there was motherly voice and than there were Alpha Mother voices. Now Louis understood why she both felt safe with Anne and the older woman felt needed to help her.

She whimpered because not only did her being an Omega trap Harry into getting her pregnant but guilt tripped Anne internally into taking her out for brunch and confessing everything but now here she was sitting with his mother waiting for the lad to come and meet them.

"He'll be here in ten." Anne spoke before reaching over the table and gently grabbing Louis' hand running her thumb over the back of her hand. "You're _not_ going to be alone in this anymore, Sweetheart I promise you."

Louis felt a little spark inside her because she wanted so badly to believe Anne but in fifteen to twenty minutes from now she'd really find out if she was going to be alone in this or not. It didn't matter if Anne was an Alpha because so was Harry and if he didn't want the baby or Louis there was nothing Anne could do.

Louis swallowed back her throat blocking up because rejection from an Alpha- let alone one who half-bonded with you, which could only happen by getting you pregnant before the bite or your souls linking through sex, lead down one path. The same one she watched her mother go down when her step-father left after the twins were born. That led to his sisters being spread apart through family members as Louis was left to watch her mother wither away an empty shell recovering in a hospital back in Doncaster.

Louis took out her phone fighting off tears for what felt like a millionth time typing in a text.

 _To: Zayn_  
I wish it was you..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so if you haven't got it now every chapter is being kinda influenced by a song and however that song makes me feel that's how Louis' life goes. I promise, promise, promise that I will start listening to good songs soon but I feel like I'm so into this fic I don't wanna end it in just a chapter or two. Anyways, oh this chapter is influcned by Bright Lights and Cityscapes - Sara Bareilles. 
> 
> Comments and Kudos are mucho appreciated, heh. x


	4. Its The Wrong Time For Somebody New

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis get's lost outside in the cold.

It would have been great if Harry would have shown up. It would have been great is Louis didn't have a breakdown when Anne left for work thirty minutes later promising to come back right away. It would have been _fucking_ great if she came back. But life wasn't great for Louis because she was pregnant, unbonded, alone in the middle of some random diner at a rest stop a few- plenty miles out of the city, and the sun was setting.

So to say the least life was _fantastic_ as she pulled out her phone to realize that it only had 5% battery and seriously what kind of luck was she having today? She did the only thing she could do and sent a text out to three different people.

 _To: Zayn, Liam, Niall_  
At Val's Diner at the outskirts of the city, please pick me up? ):

After sending the text she opened her map and sighed when she realized the directions were a little more complicated than she needed. She took a pen out of her small purse writing down the directions out of the small town and to the city on a napkin before her phone died. Groaning she shoved the phone and pen into her purse before sliding out of the booth leaving the untouched food walking up to the register at the front.

The older lady who served them shook her head giving her a kind smile. "On the house, love. Be safe now." Louis gave relieved smiled but internally snorted because _safe_? If she was safe she wouldn't be pregnant, alone to walk over tenish miles home in the dark down empty streets and a long strip of nothing. If she were safe she would have just taken the bus home instead of trusting Anne. _If_ seems to be Louis' word of the day.

Stepping outside she shivered in the cold Northern air because _fuck_ tonight was supposed to be the first snowfall of the season. Whimpering she willed herself into the freezing air holding up the directions looking around at the small little plaza for street names.

See the thing about Louis was she was _terrible_ with directions- absolute shit if you were to ask Niall. And the fact that she left her glasses at home left her practically blind. Shoving the directions in her pocket she just began walking down what she believed to be the main street.

She didn't know how long she was walking but the sun was fully settled now and little flurries began to trickle down from the clouds clinging to her eyelashes and sweater melting against her flushed skin. Her body was shaking but there was _no_ way she was going to give up now and stop inside one of the little shops to call someone cause she didn't fucking need anyone. She didn't need Zayn or Liam or Niall and she definitely didn't need Harry or his mother.

Sniffling she reached her trembling hands up to her mouth to breath hot air on them looking around for some sort of bus stop. It was the edge of this little town and looking out at the dark road she new there was going to be no civilization really for the next eightish miles until she hit the city and she wasn't that stupid. She wanted to be independent not dead.

Louis noticed a bench in front of some cozy small bookstore. Walking up to it she looked inside the window seeing a little fire place against the back wall and some older woman next to it reading a book. She looked happy and _warm_. Swallowing back she turned and sat down on the bench letting out a little squeak when her legs pressed against the snow gathered on it making her teeth chatter.

Looking up at the dark sky she watched as the small frills fell from in stark comparison. Time went by, she wasn't aware of how much until she heard some shuffling beside her. Her eyes were closed body feeling numb from the cold until a body fell into the space next to her making her jolt back.

Louis look at the man sitting beside her reeking of alcohol smiling at her in a way that made her stomach flip and bile rise in her throat.

"What 's a pretty thing like ya doin' out here all alone?" He slurred as she stood up stumbling back a bit arms wrapping around herself from the cold. "No, no Princess." He spoke quickly standing up and grabbing at her wrist yanking her towards him until she stumbled forward crashing into his chest with a gasp.

She flinched squeezing her eyes shut when she felt him grab her jaw pulling her up so he could bury his face in her neck inhaling deeply. His facial hair scratched at her neck making her whimper flinching away but he had different ideas apparently. He pulled away from her pulling at her arm towards the ally between the two buildings roughly.

Yanking her arm Louis cried out in pain slipping on some melted snow and crashing down to the ground her hand slipping from the man's as she knocked her head on the pavement. Groaning she turned her head from side to side her vision blurring as she man leaned over her gripping at her waist.

"Smell so good." He growled grabbing a fist full of her hair and tugging until her neck was bared to him. Reaching up she pulled and shoved at his face until he lifted her head by her hair and slammed it back down on the pavement making her scream out.

Everything got fuzzy as she stare up at the sky watching the snow blur together against the crimson of the brick and the darkness of the sky. Her fingers twitched at her sides against the cold ground she was lying on as she heard a snarl rip through the air sending fear to her core as she coward into herself the weight of the man above her now gone.

Somehow she got herself to sit up crawling her way over to the side of the brick wall leaning against it her eyes slipping shut. She could hear growling, fist colliding with skin, and the broken pleads. Her eyes opened halfway when she heard a metal garbage can clatter loudly to the ground.

Started by what she saw before her she flinched into the wall her eyes flying fully open.

Impossible. Staring down at her with wide almond eyes was Zayn. His hair was in a disarray but other than that his normal hoodie with a leather jacket, tight black jeans, and high top Nike's. He hasn't changed a bit, except why were his lips moving with no sound?

Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion as she watched his lips move elegantly tripping over syllables due to his Bradford accent but there was still nothing. She could hear the cars passing by, wind howling through barren trees, bustling from inside the stores, and the crunches of snow but his voice was empty from where is slipped past his lips.

"Zayn?" Louis whispered out through chattering teeth before she heard a growl from beside her snapping her head to the side looking right at _green_. Harry? What was Harry doing here and why is Zayn still not talking? She looked back in front of her and there was nothing but a replica of the brick wall she was leaning on. The chill on her cheeks still evident but no body just an empty ally pilling with snow.

The crunching came closer before Harry stood in front of her like Zayn _was_ moments ago crouching down to her level staring with his deep emerald eyes shinning like lights. She could feel so many emotions flooding off him but all Louis could think was how beautiful he looked with his porcelain skin flushed to pink across his cheeks enveloping his button nose a deeper shade. How _red_ his lips were- chewed from worry, bleeding slightly from a slice on the right side of his bottom lip, and licked by the chilled air. The way the flakes clung to his eyelashes like the sky. Stark white sticking against an endless black. He looked like Christmas.

"What the hell are you doing out here? Trying to kill yourself?!" Oh, he could talk. But she wasn't really feeling words right now. She wanred to know he was real. Swallowing back she reached a hand up slowly to touch the tips of her fingers to his jaw and he flinched back his hand coming up to dwarf hers in a calming heat. "Jesus Lou, you're fucking freezing. C'mon." He muttered reaching down to pick her up.

Louis pressed her chilled face against his chest snuggling into the warm heat not caring where he was taking her as long as he didn't put her down. She didn't realize her body was trembling from the cold until his grip on her tightened pulling her body flush against his lifting her slightly so her face slotted against his neck.

Closing her eyes she nuzzled her face against his neck feeling him jolt but didn't make an effort to move because _Jesus_ he was like a furnace. His skin was like a blazing sun melting away the snow that had overcome her in the past hours.

Vaguely she heard the bell of a door opening and there were gasps around her caressing her cheek and brushing back her hair but not once did Harry put her down. Louis felt someone tug at her but not even a millisecond later the sensation on him growling vibrated against her cheek pressed snug against his neck.

There were a few blankets wrapped around her but not once did Harry let go of her, she felt his warmth everywhere. Almost smothering her but she didn't let up her grip on his shirt either nevertheless. For the first time since this whole thing started she felt _safe_.

Sometime later when she began to feel her fingers again she spoke up. "H-Harry?" Louis spoke her voice hoarse. When she got no response she moved back slightly blinking her eyes open and _whoa_.

Harry's eyes were lidded with his eyelashes casting a shadow over his heat flushed cheeks. He almost resembled an angel to her cause for the first time since she's met him his face was soft and unguarded- almost pleasant. His hair was a mess of curls atop of curls softly caressing his cheeks like a halo the way the light kissed the edges of his hair. Forehead completely clear from the worry lines and lips- bottom lip puffy from the cut but still cherry red parted in light breath.

Without thinking she leaned up slightly to ghost her fingers over his lips feeling the heat of his breath against her fingers. In some sort of trace staring wide-eyed up at Harry completely lost in how _soft_ he looked. Swallowing back Louis let her finger twitch forward feeling contrast of the softness of his lips to the roughness of her finger. She felt a buzzing in her veins as she trailed her finger over his bottom lip the heat of his breath smothering her from the inside out it felt.

"Lou?" Harry rasped against Louis' skin her eyes shooting up but her finger remaining lightly pressed against his lip right over his cut. Sitting frozen as her mouth gaped searching for some sort of word. Instead she felt his tongue flicker out and lightly graze over his lip brushing just barely over her finger making her gasp pulling away like she was burned.

"I-." She choked out feeling his hands tighten on her to the point of his blunt nails digging into her skin through the fabric of her tights. Her eyes fluttered shut feeling him pulling her closer until his breath was soft puffs against her chapped lips.

"Why do you do this to me?" He whispered lips almost grazing hers.

"D-do what?" Louis swallowed back her breath coming out shuttered.

"You disappear, almost get _raped_ or murdered, and I find you calling for _him_ -" He cut himself off his nails digging deeper into her skin making her let out a breathless gasp. "Do you _want_ to die?" He spoke through his teeth.

Taken off guard she blinked her eyes open staring straight into his and felt all of her fight dissolve away seeing the _pain_ written all over his face. "No.." Louis whispered tearing her gaze from his looking down closing her eyes. "But I'd be easier than this."

And for the first time she wished she had her hair back to block her face from his. To hide from from his gaze and charm. But you can't hide from the stirring in your body- the jolts of electric his body sends to hers when they're near, the scolding sensation of his skin grazing hers. You can't hide from who your soul chooses.

Unable to sit there any longer Louis moved the blankets from herself and went to move off Harry's lap when his hands tightened around her making her scoff and turn back to him hoping her face wasn't giving away her true feelings. "Let. Me. Go." She spoke through clenched teeth fighting to keep it together for a little bit longer.

"No I-"

"Let me go!" She screamed shoving at his chest her tears deceiving her as they trickled down her cheeks. "Let me fucking go.." She repeated through a choked sob as he stare at her completely taken aback. There were soon softer fingers on her prying Harry's away and taking Louis into a new warmth.

"Shhh, baby 's okay. 's okay calm down." Anne said pulling Louis flush against her kissing at her head as she brushed her fingers through her short hair. "Shhh, you're fine."

Funny how someone could tell you something over and over again your whole life and _okay_ never happens. The highest point in Louis' life was being accepted into the college on full scholarship and getting away from the shit back home. Nothing was okay. She was going to become her mother because she was and never will be good enough.

Louis let herself be taken to a different part of the diner to get her head checked out in better lighting before she was given some Tylenol for her migraine and a bottle of water to sip on as she tried, and failed, not to think about if Niall or Liam actually cared. If maybe they were looking for her at all.

When the truth was if she turned on her phone there would be a text from Niall stating that Liam was going into his rut and they got ahold of Harry sending him. Fifteen texts from Harry himself asking urgently where she was. And one text from Zayn.

Before long she was ushered to the back of Harry's Ranger Rover where he insisted on sitting in the back as Anne drove so she could comfortably lay down. Louis situated herself purposefully so her feet were in his lap as she closed her eyes curling into herself. She fell asleep to the calming sensation of his thumb drawling calming circles against the thin fabric over her ankle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm actually really upset about how this chapter came out. I dunno I feel wrong about it but I wanted to write this really bad and ugh. I hope you guys like it and I super duper sorry this is late! Anyways this chapter is inspired by 9 Crimes - Damien Rice. 
> 
> Comments and Kudos are mucho appreciated, aha. x


	5. Don't Have To Fight To Feel Alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry let's go.

Louis woke up hot which was weird because lately everything has been so cold. Cold when it comes to friends, cold when it comes to Zayn, and cold when it comes to whatever the hell is going on with Harry and herself.

Everything was too much too fast and way too fucking soon.

She rolled over still half asleep to snuggle back into the cold of her other pillow when she came in contact with a heated chest. Groaning she blinked her eyes open looking at, oh hello swallows. Strange. Through her sleep clouded eyes she looked over at whoever’s shoulder was in front of her and smiled because what the hell was _17 Black_ and why was there a giant heart. Staring longer she took in the wire hanger and.. Three nails? Everything was so randomly placed and a right mess but perfectly collided together in a brilliant collection of doodles. It was all so _Harry_. Wait.

Louis’ eyes widened as she slowly looked up at Harry’s sleeping face feeling her heart hammer in her chest. Fuck this wasn’t fair. When the hell was he allowed to make her feel like this? Oh, right. Maybe sometime in between her brilliant idea to be a guy or them sleeping together and her getting knocked up. Yeah, that sounded about right.

Staring up at him she noticed that his cheek was slightly colored and the cut on his lip was a little scabbed over. He looked like an Angel. Some sort of beaten or fallen one but that suited him and there wasn’t a way she could explain how but it just made sense.

After realizing that she was probably staring at him for quite some time she lowered her gaze back to the array of tattoos littering his skin. Chewing on her bottom lip she tried to think of how the events of the night before landed her here.

Doctor's appoint for the baby, lunch with Anne- _oh_ right she was Harry's mum, her leaving cause work but promising to come back, being stranded, and alone.

Chewing on her bottom lip she deflated because _right_. The man trying to take her and Harry coming out of his own ass just to save her- no literally where the fuck did he come from? But Zayn? He was there she remembers seeing his face.

_Staring down at her with wide almond eyes was Zayn. His hair was in a disarray but other than that his normal hoodie with a leather jacket, tight black jeans, and high top Nike's. He hasn't changed a bit, except why were his lips moving with no sound?_

No sound. He wasn't real and it seemed that way more and more these days. Louis questioning her sanity and if Zayn was even real. The way his eyes would burn through her searing her skin as his gaze flickered over her body. He was the flame underneath her setting her life to fire changing her winters to vicious Summers that kissed her skin a golden brown. A flash of heat quiet soon to become a deafening suffocation of humidity.

And there was Harry who's ice chilled through her- freezing her every thought turning her skin a paling white. Everything in the winter happened so fast but felt so slow. He was the anticipation of joy- peaceful during the snowfall but deadly like the frozen air. The tempting colors of Christmas with the bang of the New Year. He was a rush, there and gone, melting away with the snow as the sun shown through the graying clouds.

There were no Summers during Winter. Where there was sun there couldn't be her bitter cold. Zayn would break the storm but she couldn't stay away from the cold. It was so strange how you could know someone so well and them end up being just a phantom of your memory.

Letting out a shuttered breathe she reached her hand up to brush at her cheeks when she felt the soft caress of a warm palm over her cheek. The flicker of flame through the snow.

Looking up through watery eyes she focused on Harry's lips. Pulled into a tight frown and without even looking up she could tell his eyebrows were furrowing. His thumb flickered softly over her cheekbone sending chills down her spine.

Louis' lips quivered as she tried to get out a word, syllable- _something_ but all that escaped her lips was a whimper.

"Louis?" Harry's voice with thick with sleep and confusion as he gently lifted her face until she made eye contact with him.

He looked tired of course but there was something different about the way he was looking at her. There was a certain calmness over him and fondness..?

"Louis?" Harry repeated again snapping her from what little trance he cast over her.

"Huh?"

"What's the matter?" His thumb caressed her cheek once more as she felt his other hand pull her closer and what? Okay, so he had his arm around her and she wasn't even aware of this. Louis internally slapped herself because she _really_ needed to get a hang of herself around him.

Louis just blinked up at him her jaw slack as if she didn't even know what he was asking.

"Lo-" A beep came from behind her and before she could turn her face was being smothered by those fucking swallows as he leaned over her grabbing his phone off the table. Once he leaned back she let out a huff rolling her eyes.

"Could have let me move." She muttered moving to roll over to see his phone but his other arm trapped her from doing so. "Excuse me?" She looked up at him angrily.

"Not your business." Harry muttered simply as the glow of his iPhone illuminated his face. His features slowly shifted as he scrolled through whatever message he'd received. Whatever she though she saw before was now replaced by a very indifferent looking mask.

Louis shuffled around in his arms grumbling as she tried to get free ending up turning to smack her forehead painfully into his jaw.

"What the fuck, Louis?" Harry sat up grabbing his jaw as they groaned in unison.

"Oh nothing just being held against my will by some curly haired bi-polar asshole, you?" Alright, so maybe that wasn't the best thing to say but she was extremely hungry, tired, and had to wee. She didn't sign up for this shit.

"Whatever." He mumbled laying back down on the bed holding his phone over his face as he began typing out something. Deciding she didn't really care as much as she did at first she slipped out of the bed shivering when her bare feet- wait.

Looking down she noticed she wasn't wearing her leggings nonetheless anything she was wearing the night before. Instead she was wearing one of Harry's t-shirt coming down to rest mid-thigh and even though some part of her really, _really_ liked this she caught herself mumbling, "I hate the Ramones." Under her breathe as she walked out of his room towards the bathroom.

The house was dark and quiet as she made her way through the hallway. Looking around she didn't catch anything hinting at where the bathroom could possibly be and there was no way she was about to open every door in this house. Groaning she reached up rubbing at her forehead as she stare at the four doors in front of her before turning over her shoulder to look at the other three.

With a sigh she walked back over to Harry's room feeling goose bumps rise over her bare thighs. Once she reached the door she looked over at the bed seeing wrinkled sheets illuminated by the moonlight where Harry just was.

"Uhm?" Louis looked over when she heard a hanger clattering to the floor making her gasp before crossing her arms at the sight that was before her.

Harry already had a pair of skinny jeans on and was slipping a random t-shirt over his head. He leaned down grabbing a pair of boots before walking over to his dresser grabbing some socks and sitting on the bed proceeding to put them on.

"Excuse me?" She spoke her frustration clear.

"Going out." He once again simply spoke and she was just so fucking glad that he could speak to her with such an indifferent tone using the smallest amount of words possible to get his point across. Back to fucking square one.

Looking around the room she spotted her clothes quickly walking over to them before slipping his shirt off and tossing it behind her carelessly as she slipped back on her clothing before taking a seat on his side table to roll back on her leggings and shove her feet into her boots. If he was going on surly she was allowed to also.

Once she was all dressed she looked around the room for her phone and grumbled when she saw Harry leaning against the door frame holding it up.

"Looking for this?" He spoke a smirk apparent even in his voice- the bastard.

"No, actually I was looking for Atlantis." Louis spit back watching the smirk fall off his face.

"Okay explorer where the fuck do you think you're going?"

Oh so now he cared, right? "Going out." She mocked his tone before walking up to him and holding her palm out for her phone.

"You know its dead."

"And so are you if you don't hand it over."

"Watch your tongue." Harry's spoke through a clenched jaw his eyes narrowing at her. Even through the darkness she could see his eyes clouding over slightly and she _really_ didn't have time to deal with Alpha Harry right now.

"Yes, Daddy." Louis spoke giving him a little wink before brushing past him with a swift smack to his ass making her way down the hallway towards the stairs.

Her phone was useless, even if she did have it or not, and she had no idea where she was. Before she even thought about it, because she _really_ wouldn't have done this if she was in her right mind, she grabbing one of his jackets off the coat hanger and the keys that said Range Rover on the side knowing, more like hoping, that they were his.

Shoving the door open she froze in her spoke staring at the thick blanket of snow laying over the ground. "Jesus Christ." She muttered quickly making her way over to the car getting into the drivers side and staring at the wheel.

Louis didn't start the car just held the keys in her hand trying to think about where to go or what she was doing but she didn't know. She didn't know where she was, or Zayn, or Niall, or Liam. She didn't know what she was doing right now, tomorrow, with Harry, with this baby. She didn't fucking know.

Looking up she noticed that the snow began to fall over the windshield piling itself up creating a God damn mess. Snow was so fucking messy. It clung to everything it touched and then melted. It just fucking melted.

"Stop fucking melting!" She screamed banging her hands on the steering wheel collapsing onto in sobbing because she was snow. She clung to everyone around her and just liquidized causing a giant fucking mess everywhere.

Maybe Louis sat there so long because she thought that if she sat in his car he wouldn't leave or maybe she thought that she would but she was wrong. Well halfway wrong.

The door opened causing her to look over seeing Harry leaning over the door frame snow collected in his curls clinging to every bit of him. The sun was beginning to rise behind him causing a faint pinkish glow over the sky. He just stood there causally for a moment before reaching a hand forward for her to take.

Louis' mind was screaming at her not to take his hand, to just curl herself back up around the steering wheel and cry but her hand reached out softly curling around his as he carefully helped her out of the car and into his arms.

"You're not melting, Louis. You're modifying." Harry whispered against her hair as she grasp herself to him like the snow burying herself into him.

"You're not falling apart, Louis. You're becoming something new, like an evolution." He whispered against her ear before he let out hum of thought. _"Solve woes which today may heavy lay yet which tomorrow's joy may show, we'll end this tale, soft steal away like melting snow."_ He recited it so confidently that she felt like she should have gotten something out of that but she didn't.

"What the fuck does that mean?" Louis sniffled rubbing her eyes against his coat annoyed.

Harry let out a breathy chuckle before shrugging. "Evolution." He simply stated placing a gentle kiss to the side of her head making her tense up for a moment before sinking back into his chest with a light sigh.

 _"We followed the chain of change. Till there came a time in the law of life. When over the nursing sod the shadows broke and the soul awoke. In a strange, dim dream of God."_ He recited.

"Okay Poe, let's not get carried away here." Louis spoke looking up at him watching as a snowflake fluttered down and landed at the tip of his eyelashes. Her hands tangled in the warmth of his jacket as he leaned down slightly but last minute she turned away hearing the garage open.

"Uhm. Right." She spoke unsteadily pulling herself away from him wiping at her chilled cheeks to settled back in the driver's side of the car her feet dangling as she swing them slightly. Clutching the keys she turned her head to look up at him nibbling on her bottom lip. "I'm going to.. Borrow this.." She whispered moving her gaze forward watching as Anne put a few things into the car before turning her gaze back to him curiously.

"To go where?" Harry asked leaning into the warmth of the car and her personal space. His warm breathe wafted over her face cause her to unintentionally lean in so they were once against practically face to face.

"Uhm.. Home. See GPS.. I can get there." She swallowed back lazily pointing her finger backwards towards the dashboard screen with an awkward whimper when he leaned in more cause her heart to hammer in her chest making her freak out. "So if you'd uhm, step back that'd be great." She squeaked out leaning back slightly so their lips wouldn't touch.

The funny thing was if she was being honest she didn't expect him to or really want him to. Just because she was freaking out doesn't mean she really wanted him to stop, or did it? Jesus, she needed to sort herself out.

When he sighed taking a step back into his yard she stare at him open mouthed slowly turning in the seat as if to test him. Once she was seated correctly and even moved to put the seat belt on he gently closed the door.

He was letting her go. Harry Styles was letting her _go_. No questions or smart remarks he was just letting her drive away.

Furrowing her eyebrows she stared the car staring forward before setting up the GPS and typing in Zayn's address. Deciding that if Winter could let go she'd find a little bit of sunshine through the snow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm an asshole I know, this took forever to update. I was working like mad the past two weeks and have had like zero time to actually do this and I'm so sorry guys please don't hate me. I love you all and because I'm an asshole this might be a two update night because I already know how the next chapter is going to be like. Anyways, I promise I will update faster now that I'm getting a new job! 
> 
> This chapter was inspired by To Feel Alive -IAMEVE because I watched the second Percy Jackson, which was beautiful, and heard this song and just BAM writer's block gone! The two poems quoted by Harry are Like Melting Snow by Jonathan Robin and Evolution by Langdon Smith, which are both amazing and you might wanna take a look! 
> 
> So anyways all mistakes are and will be mine cause no BETA, aha. Again sorry for the wait and I am working on the next chapter right now so it should be up by the end of the weekend!
> 
> Comments and Kudos are mucho appreciated, heh. x


	6. Cause I Don't Stand A Chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis thinks Harry let go.

The drive over to Zayn's flat was long and instead of spending it thinking of what she'd say when she say Zayn for the first time she spent it trying to keep Harry off her mind.

Lately Louis didn't know how she was feeling when it came to Harry but she felt so incredibly strange being away from him even though she just left. The further she drove away from him the more of a sickening feeling she felt arising in her stomach.

As Louis sat in Zayn's driveway she felt a tightening feeling in her chest making it harder to breathe. She couldn't find the reason why because this was the right thing- _Zayn_ was the right thing. So why did this feel so wrong?

The wrong thing would be to give into her feelings and go back to Harry but every fiber of her being was screaming to go back just like it was screaming for her to leave him. Whatever moment they shared this morning was engraved in her mind causing conflicts of not only her mind but her soul and heart. It was wrong, wasn't it? They weren't destined to be together- she was meant to be with Zayn he's even said it.

This conflict is was probably led her to be parked outside of Zayn's flat with her legs curled up to her chest feeling her eye sight faze in and out staring at his door contemplating going inside or driving back to Harry.

All Louis could think about was Harry and the way he looked at her when she asked him to move. It was like a broken record skipping over the same exact part again and _again_ making her head spin faster.

There was the hurt and shocked expression flashing through his eyes followed by the robotic way he just shut the door and watched her leave. No demanding she stay or holding onto her. What if he was letting her go?

She'd had watched her mother the night her step-dad let her go.

_Louis was gripping onto Daisy and Phoebe tightly pulling them to her chest as she watched her mother scream out scratching her nails along the wood floors. Tears were pouring from her eyes as she scrubbed them away just to watch him walk out the door. It was as if her body was beginning to suffocate itself. Her face was changing to a shade of blue as she fell forward on her hands and knees gagging up nothing broken sobs. Every time Lottie or Fizzy would go near her she'd push them away screaming for him- begging for him to just come back. Her nose began to bleed and before long Louis was there holding four siblings as his mother was taken away in the ambulance._

The memory was seared into her brain and it was like a sick reply of that night except this was real and this was her life.

Louis' heart pumped quickly feeling like it was about to hammer right out of her chest. Her to lungs to tighten constricting her breathing making her choke out sputtering for air over just the thought that Harry was letting her go.

She gripped tightly onto the steering wheel gasping shallowly for air as she pounded her hands onto it not even aware that she was beeping the horn over her ear piercing screams.

_Harry didn't want her._

It felt like her soul was being torn from her insides- every part of her body was simultaneously being tugged in different directions until she felt herself being ripped apart at the seams.

He couldn't just be done with her. He _couldn't_ because she was having his baby. She was _his_.

Louis was halfway gone sputtering on empty lungs, her nose dripping blood down over her paled lips and blue tinted skin. She didn't hear the door being thrown open nor did she feel the cold air piercing her skin as someone tugged her from the car.

Louis wasn't aware of anything because her soul was dying and because of this her body was unintentionally killing itself.

Without her partnering soul hers was withering. Like a sick twist on Sleeping Beauty except she knew this wasn't a fairy tale. No one was going to kiss her awake and mend her broken soul.

When her heated body was thrown to the snow her eyes fluttered open briefly to see long brown hair blowing in the wind and piercing hazel eyes filled with panic.

Louis' body spazzed as her fingernails dug into the numbing cold of the snow before letting out a gut wrenching screech that burst through whatever sound barrier she held around herself ripping her down into a haze of black.

_Beep, beep, beep, beep._

Would someone shut that up?

Strange, Louis felt strange because she wanted to speak, shit, she wanted to open her eyes but everything burned. Her throat felt dry and as much as she fought she couldn't lift her hand let alone her eyelids.

"What do you mean she's in a coma?!" A voice screamed before there was clattering somewhere around the room. It sounded so familiar. _Oh_. It was Harry. But why was he-

Wait. A _coma_? Louis couldn't be in a coma. She was sleeping or something this wasn't right. She was conscious she could _hear_ everything. This has to be a sick joke because she just couldn't move her body. What was happening?

"Why are you asking me? I came outside to see her practically dying in my fucking driveway!" A higher unfamiliar voice spoke.

"What did you do to her?!" Harry growled causing another clatter before there was screaming mixing with the sound of two males grunting and the sounds of feet scuffing the floor in a high pitched whine before she fell back into darkness to the sound of the atrocious beeping.

_Beep, beep, beep.._

Didn't she get someone to turn that off? Whatever it was needed to be turned off.

"Louis come back to me." Harry whispered into her ear sending a tickling sensation through her limbs. "Wake up." He demanded his soft tenor breaking through the two syllabus causing a buzzing through her veins making that annoying beeping speed up.

She felt trapped in her own mind. Screaming that she was trying, that she wanted to come back to him but her body wouldn't fucking move.

"Don't do this to me." Harry whispered hoarsely gripping onto her delicate paled hand. "Louis I kn.." His voice faded away as she fell back into the rhythm of the beeping the darkness overtaking her once more.

_Beep, beep, beep.._

If she heard the beeping one more time she will literally scream. Fluttering her eyes open she lazily looked over towards where the noise was coming from seeing a heart monitor. Furrowing her eyebrows she looked down feeling tubes connecting to her forearm and a clamp over her finger.

Louis' heart monitor sped up as she went to take a breathe through her nose and felt something inside of it. Footsteps quickly echoed down the hallway to her room as she fought to sit up feeling her body numb and painfully cramped up.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa babe no so fast." A nurse quickly made her way over to her gently pressing her shoulder down so she was lying flat on her back once more. "We were wondering when you would wake up." She smiled kindly at her before pressing some things into a computer before reaching to hover her hands over Louis' face. "This might feel a it weird for a moment, darling."

Louis felt her gag reflex kicked in flinching once she felt the tube being pulled from her nose causing her her cough out once she felt her nose clear. Her hand came up pinched at her nose wiggling it around trying to clear the passages to breathe.

"Can I?" Her voice came out hoarse and broken from lack of use as she looked over at the water on the other side of the room.

"Of course darling." The nurse spoke as she poured Louis a glass of water continuing to talk. "You have everyone worried there for awhile quite the group of teenagers your brought into here." She spoke with a hint of annoyance in her voice as she handed over the water. Before turning and writing some things down on a clipboard before hanging it back on the end of the bed clicking her pen closed.

Chugging down a generous gulp of water that split down into two lines from the corner of her mouth down her neck Louis pulled the nearly empty cup away coughing as she tried to regain her voice before speaking. "How long?"

"You were out for about nine days." The nurse said taking the glass from Louis before setting on the table beside her giving her a sad smile turning to leave the room before her posture perked up and she turned around nodding. "And your baby is fine, about fourteen weeks along I believe it said."

Louis sputtered watching the nurse walk into the hallway the light flooding into the room. She pressed the button on the bed moving so she was resting in a sitting position and looked around the room.

The curtains were pulled tightly shut but from the looks it was practically pitch black outside and since her room light was off she assumed it was sometime in the night.

No one was here for her. The nurse mentioned teenagers-

Louis' head shot up when the door opened and the light flicked on making her groan squeezing her eyes shut tightly in effort to drown out the blinding florescent.

Hearing the clatter something being dropped to the floor her eyes shot open as she looked over seeing Harry standing in the doorway his phone busted open laying at his feet.

"Louis?" His voice came more of a breath than an actual word as he stood frozen in place looking at her in utter shock. Jesus, he looked terrible. There was a slight stubble almost pathetically scattered over his upper lip and along his jaw, under his eyes were swollen and dark, his hair was scattered sinfully tossed around his head, and his clothes looked rumpled.

"Hi." Louis choked out before he was hovering over her after three long strides to her bed causing the beeping to speed up dangerously.

His hand came up to cup her cheek causing her lips to part as the air was stolen from her lungs in a quiet gasp. Her eyes immediately met his but he didn't do anything. Didn't speak or more just stare at her as if her eyes were to give away whatever answer he was searching for.

Why was he here? He let her go, right? He was the reason her body felt sluggish and worn down. No, wait. She _felt_ that way but it was like the moment his hand touched her there was a buzzing racing through her veins jolting her body awake. Louis felt wired like she was going to explode from all the energy coursing through her.

Harry had the power to kill her just as easily as he could save her. Being an Omega sucked and being partly bonded to someone you barely even knew made everything so much harder because looking up into his eyes she didn't know if he was going to scream at her or kiss her.

At the though of him kissing her she subconsciously trailed her eyes down to his lips letting in a deep breathe as she shakily released it.

"Louis." Harry spoke this time in a normal tone making her eyes snap back up to his feeling ashamed. "Don't ever do that to me again. When I let you go I thought you were going to run to Niall or something not.." His voice trailed off as his free hand scrubbed down his face in a frustrated manner. "Go comatose on me.."

That was it? Nothing else for him to say? Louis wasn't to bury herself in a fucking hole. He let her just practically walk out of his life without a fight, she wakes up in a hospital after a mental breakdown and he tells her not to do that to him again. That's it.

Bullshit.

Louis was so utterly caught up in her thoughts that she didn't hear the door close. A cough came from beside them causing Harry to lean away from Louis. She looked down picking at her cuticles completely gutted.

"I see you're awake." That voice. Louis tensed up slowly moving her gaze to catch herself trapped in an almond gaze. "Nice to see you again, Louis." Her throat ran dry as her heart monitor accelerated her mouth gaping in effort to speak but her mind just blanked.

"You're upsetting her." Harry spoke straightening up as he reached his hand forward to grab at her hand. Louis rip her gaze from Zayn to stare at Harry's profile her eyebrows furrowing.

What the fuck? Her heart felt like it was being ripped from her chest. Here Harry was now pretending to care and now Zayn pops up looking pissed as hell. This was doing nothing for her headache.

"And you don't deserve her." Zayn growled just as someone else entered the room. Louis caught the girls eye and felt her stomach sink as she tugged her hand back from Harry's grasp. She was gorgeous, breathtakingly so, in a bitchy kinda way.

"Why don't we calm down now boys, huh?" She spoke walking over to Zayn and patting him on the cheek making him look down at her and grunt before walking over to the sofa and plopping down on it. She snickered as she made her way to Louis in which Harry stepped in her path with a low growl coming from his throat.

"Oh come off it, Styles. I saved her, remember?" She spoke clearly annoyed with an eye roll before shoving him aside and looking down at Louis smiling.

"Hey babe, I'm Lauren." She said before looking over at Zayn rolling her eyes before adding. "Zayn's roommate." Before turning back to her with a bright smile flicking her long hair over her shoulder and taking the seat next to the bed.

"I'm actually quite excited that you're awake considering that while you were under these two were going at it twenty-four seven. _You don't deserve her._ or _She's not yours to decide that._ yada, yada."

"Enough, Lauren." Zayn snapped from over by the couch making Lauren laugh out before cupping her hand over her mouth.

Louis looked from Zayn who was staring Lauren down over to Harry who was standing near the edge of the bed watching Lauren with a cocked eyebrow and crossed arms.

"Uhm, nice to meet you?" Louis spoke turning to Lauren nibbling on her bottom lip confused.

"Right, right. So now that you're awake and able to babysit I've got work." She spoke pushing the chair back making Louis flinch as it scrapped against the floor. "Peace out girl scouts. Oh and Louis, take care I'm sure I'll be seeing you around a lot more now." She put two fingers up to her forehead and saluted before brushing past Harry with a snicker.

"Did that just happen?" Louis spoke through the awkward silence once Lauren was gone and both Harry and Zayn looked over at her not saying a word for a long stretch of time.

"Alright or we can play the staring game?" She muttered to herself rolling her eyes and looking down picking her nails as she nibbled on her bottom lip feeling awkwardly uncomfortable.

The door opened and fell shut as the nurse came in. "Alright lads, visiting hours are over. Whichever one of you are her Alpha can stay but the other has to go." Louis tensed up looking up at shyly her face tinting a light dust of red over her cheeks staring straight at Harry's profile.

Zayn stood up brushing at his jeans before making his way over to the seat next to Louis' bed. "Its my night, right mate?"

"That was the schedule before she woke up, not a chance." Harry countered his hands falling to his sides stepping in Zayn way.

"Right and cause ya knocked her up you think you can stay? This _is_ all your fault she's here. What makes you think she even wants it to be you?" Zayn said taking a step forward his eyes narrowing.

Louis shifted in the bed uncomfortably feeling her chest tighten because Harry knew. He finally knew that she was pregnant with his baby. But he didn't say anything? Was he going to be Zayn walked in or was he going to keep her in the dark about it?

Bullshit.

"What do you mean? You're the one who abandoned her for God knows how many months!" Harry spit closing the gag between them so they were face to face.

The more Louis heard them arguing the more her head pounded. She felt like her throat was closing up again gripping onto the sheets gasping for air.

"Louis, Louis hey look at me you need to breathe." The nurse said directing her attention away from the two Alphas to look her in the eyes. "Remember you may be an Omega but you're an Alpha's one weakness. Tell then what _you_ want." She spoke soothingly running her fingers through Louis' fringe in effort to calm her.

Listening to her words her breathing became less erratic. Louis shifted her eyes over to Zayn and Harry trying to think about who she wanted in the room- who she needed in the room.

The Alphas were standing face to face staring each other down as Zayn mumbled something under his breath earning a low growl from Harry before shoving him backwards. Harry was ready to lurch forward at Zayn.

"Cut it out!" Louis screamed out both the Alpha's freezing to look over at her. "Both of you need to calm down!"

"Louis he-" Zayn started.

" _Shut up_." She snapped. "I don't care _who_ either one of you think I want and I don't care what either one of you did to me. You've _both_ screwed me the fuck over. I just woke up from a fucking coma and you're _fighting_?"

"Louis I-" Harry began.

"I think you both need to leave. You're upsetting the patient." The nurse spoke up waving her hands in a ushering motion.

"If you need anything don't be scared to ask for me. And I mean anything, darling. I'll be here all night just ask for Alice." She said giving Louis' arm a reassuring squeeze.

"I'm not leaving I have to talk to Louis." Harry growled taking another step towards the bed but the nurse cut him off narrowing her eyes at him.

"You can stay in the waiting rooms all you want sir but it seems to me that she doesn't want to _talk_ nor have you in the room- Louis?" Alice turned over her shoulder with her eyebrow quirked.

"No.." Louis whispered turning over in the bed so her back was facing them wrapping her arms around herself.

"Alright, Louis needs her rest let's go or else I'll have you escorted out and neither one of you will be able to see her at all." Alice threatened before ushering the Alphas out of the room switching the light off leaving Louis alone to fall back to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a bit complicated to write and I really don't know how I feel about it. But it is the longest I've written so far so that's a plus for you guys, I hope. Things will get better soon, I promise! Please don't hate me. Sorry this took so long in the process of moving and trying to get ready to go to college soon. Chapter inspired by Stay Awake - Lydia. 
> 
> I know a lot of you asked what the endgame for this story is and I apologize for not making it clear from the start. My friend told me that I shouldn't let you guys know yet because the endgame is clearly established in the next chapter although it was hinted in the beginning of this one. Please, please bear with me my next update should be posted Friday. (:
> 
> Comments and Kudos are mucho appreciated, heh. x


	7. Open Up Your Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis soul chooses.

Its been a week.

Actually its been six days and fourteen hours but they're finally letting Louis go home. Which was odd since all of this happened school was finally going on winter break in three days so she didn't really have a home.

Louis wasn't going back to college, well not now because what's the use? She was drifting. Taught since a young age that she could go to college and become something but she'd be useless without an Alpha. Bond. Bonding. Bound. Bonded. Its all she was taught.

_"Yes, Louis you could be anyone you want to be. A girl footie player, a dancer, a teacher, even an actress but you must always remember to never become so successful that you scare away potential Alphas. You must always remember to be open and **bond**. Its your job as a female and more importantly an Omega. Have a family and be **obedient**."_

Her mother's words were seared into her brain and lately they've been all she could think about. She had two Alphas- _two_. She knew the one that was logical but her soul didn't know logic it knew love and fate.

_"When it all comes down to it Louis it won't be your choice if an Alpha wants you, you're there's."_

So if Harry wanted her that bad why didn't he just take her? Force her into this? What about Zayn? He's had all these years.

Louis was snapped out of thoughts when Anne walked into the room with a weary smile over her lips.

"Are you ready, Darling?"

Louis stood up from the bed wrapping her arms around herself since she didn't have a jacket with her and nodded weakly. "Where am I going?"

Anne let out a light airy laugh before walking over to Louis and wrapping her arm around her huddling her closer kissing her forehead leading her out without a word so Louis knew she wouldn't get one.

Right as she exited the room there he was, waiting.

Its only been a week and just _seeing_ him was a slap in the face. Harry was leaning against the counter in a sort of slouch scrolling through his phone with one hand and the other was up by his lip picking at it. He looked worn down and torn apart. Usual quiff falling over his eyes in a halo of curls, stumble littering his upper lip and sparely over his jaw, face void from all color, lips bitten and chewed raw, clothing disheveled, with thick dark bag under his eyes.

_"I know you don't get it now, Louis. But you will have to succumb to an Alpha one day and its not only you who will need them. They will crave you- even just a glance. Their soul can die too, but they're stronger it won't show right away. You're going to be the world to someone, someday and you'll notice when they need you. It'll seem like you're the air to them without it they're a right mess not knowing up from down."_

"Harry, ready dear?" Anne said giving Louis arm a tight squeeze as Harry's head shot up immediately staring straight at Louis his shoulders drooping from loss of tension and eyes igniting with something Louis wasn't aware existed.

"Louis." Harry breathed and she shouldn't have been able to hear it through the loud busy hospital- shouldn't have been able to hear it like a whisper directly in her ear with him standing almost five feet away but she did and it hurt. Send a jump start through her body as she took a tentative step towards him.

"Louis! See I told you she'd be leaving today Zayn!" Lauren. Lauren was here with Zayn. Louis' gaze broke from Harry's shattering their fragile bubble as she watched Lauren excitedly walk over to her.

The past six days Lauren would camp out during the day before work in her room, since she'd forbid Zayn or Harry in there, talking her ear off. Silly because Louis was usually the one speaking but it felt nice to have Lauren there telling her everything or just singing random songs off the radio when she ran out of things to say. It was nice to have someone there not to judge her but she was always hinting at Zayn. What he was doing, how he was, and life.

Looking at Zayn he looked the same. Perfectly coiffed quiff, facial hair trimmed and rightfully placed, rested, and in his spotless attire.

_"You're going to be the world to someone, someday and you'll notice when they need you."_

Louis' eyes flickered back over to Harry who shoved his hands into his pockets a coat carefully trapped between his wrist and hip. Eyes burning into her searching, wondering, _taking_.

Taking her breathe, her attention, her _love_.

"Louis here is going to be staying with Harry and I for a bit until she figures out what shes going to do." Anne spoke up not even phasing Louis because she'd trapped herself in Harry's stare.

If Louis wasn't so caught up in her bubble she would have noticed the way Zayn stared at her. The way his eyes pleaded her to look his way or the way that Lauren quickly caught him before he rushed over to her before taking him down. _If_.

Just like if she never met Harry they would have been destined. If she would have let go her childish wants. If she would have never ran away from what was really home. If.

Louis' feet moved her body before her mind could even comprehend she was standing before him. Before the beautiful disaster that came into her life like a tsunami. Crashing in her life cold and hard carrying away the walls and remnants of her strength washing them away until she was bared and naked. Cleaning her slate and leaving nothing in its wake but small pieces of herself to salvage.

Except here he was ready to held her start new. Here he was looking like _she_ was the disaster that torn apart his life. Leaving him open and vulnerable.

_"But mom what if no one wants to be my Alpha?" Louis asked wide eyed her covers up to her chin. Jay laughed softly reaching her hand forward to softly caress her chestnut hair tucking it behind her ear. "There's an Alpha out there right now, probably being tucked sleepily away by his mother, who's going to love you." Louis furrowed her eyebrows pouting as she sat up huffing._

_"How will I know he loves me?" She crossed her arms wrinkling her nose up in disgust. "What if he just wants me cause I'm an Omega? Mum I want love like Cinderella!" She whined as her mother cooed reaching forward to press a light kiss over her forehead. "You'll know you're Cinderella when he can make the whole world disappear. When a single look from him can make your nose to your tosies tickle. But most importantly when he's gentle." Louis groaned and laid back on her bed throwing her covers over her face._

"You look a mess, Styles." Louis whispered reaching up to touch his cheek when his hands wrapped around her wrist lightly shaking his head.

"We both know who you're going to choose. Let's not make this worse." Harry spoke and he sounded absolutely _wrecked_. Dropping her hand he handed Louis his jacket before walking out of the hospital head down and hands buried deeply in his pockets.

"You don't know anything.." Louis whispered slipping on his jacket zipping it up before pressing the sleeves to her cheeks his scent engulfing her. Her eyes fluttered shut feeling light headed before she felt a gentle hand on her back making her lazily look up at Anne not dropping her hands.

Looking around Louis moved her hands to wrap around herself speaking light. "Where's Zayn and Lauren?"

"You can't do this forever, Louis. You have to choose." Anne spoke in a tight lipped sentence before leading her through the hallways down to the car.

Zayn and Lauren had left apparently when Louis was _talking_ with Harry. Lauren could see it, Anne could see it, and now Zayn saw it. The way she was so intertwined in Harry.

_"You don't choose Louis, your soul chooses."_

So for the life of her she didn't know why Anne was telling _her_ to choose. It obviously wasn't her decision to make. It wasn't from the start and it wasn't going to be now.

Once they reached the house Anne had set her up in the guest room not uttering one word to her and Louis could feel by the tension in Anne's shoulder's that she shouldn't bother doing so.

Its been a week since she's settled into the Style's household and although Anne has warmed back up to her Harry has been avoiding her and looking even more restless and out of it than before. Lauren visits all the time but Zayn on texts on occasion like he's trying to stay away.

Lauren tells her not to take it personally because she's not _meaning_ to break Zayn's heart. Its really because he realized he's not her Alpha and is trying to move on without fully losing her as a friend. Louis doesn't get how everyone but Harry can see that.

Niall and Liam have finally made an appearance stating they weren't even aware she was in the hospital and huge news of their own. Niall was pregnant. With a baby. Because in some sick web of lies they'd been able to hide the fact that Niall was really an Omega from her. Which really account for the week they were gone while she was in a coma but she couldn't blame them. But the fact that her two best friends have been lying to her. Owch.

Louis faked a smile and congratulated them about their upcoming family. She was in envy over how flushed and beautiful Niall looked and the way Liam wouldn't moved his arms from around him or his hands stayed resting on Niall's flat stomach. And if she cried herself to sleep for three night in a row over this no one needed to know.

Anne had taken her to her sixteen week check up with the Obstetrician and other than that everything has been fine with the pregnancy despite her coma.

The only thing that's really changed is that her morning sickness is gone and now she has a tiny little gut. In her personal opinion she doesn't look pregnant but fat. Lauren on the other hand is always raving about how her belly looks so cute and Niall talks about how jealous he is that she's already showing somewhat.

Louis was seconds away from telling Niall he could have her belly and her fucking pregnancy but Lauren gripped her hand and comforted her from saying words that she knew wouldn't upset not only Niall but Liam also and she couldn't risk losing friends. Not now.

It was the twenty-first of December and her birthday was in four days followed by Christmas. Lauren promised her a huge party even thought she threw a fit.

There was only one thing she wanted for her birthday.

Anne was gone at work and wouldn't be back until the next day cause she was working overnight. Harry was.. Well he was locked up in his room like he'd been ever since she came home with them.

Sighing she stripped her clothing off standing in front of the bathroom mirror looking at her belly. The steam from the shower fogged up the glass, or maybe that was the tears from her eyes but she wasn't about to admit anything.

Once she felt like she'd tortured herself enough with her reflection she stepped into the shower feeling the water scold her back making her hiss out as her back arched.

She made her way through her routine almost robotic. Scrub her body to the scolding water, wash her face, and scrub shampoo and conditioner into her scalp.

Louis felt a small smile come over her lips as she rinsed out the conditioner because her hair was at least grown out into a stylish pixie cut. She was trying to take little wins like this and crawl her way back to happiness. Except the floor she was crawling over felt like it was covered in glass. With every step forward was a sharp slice reminding her of what she was crawling away from- _who_ she was crawling away from.

Once he water began to run clear from her conditioner she sighed and leaned against the wall feeling the water caress over her body spacing out.

The door creaked open and closed causing Louis to stand up straight furrowing her eyebrows not looking out the shower in fear of who it might be.

"Hello?" She called out listening but when she heard nothing she felt her shoulder relax before the curtain was opened and immediately Harry stepped in clothed in his boxers and skin flushed.

"H-Harry wh- I'm trying to shower." Louis stuttered out as she felt the cold tile press against her back as he hovered over her his jaw tightly set.

"You have to leave." Harry spoke his fists in a white knuckle grip at his sides. "I c-can't for much longer you have to leave I can't.."

Frantic Louis reached up cupping his cheek searching his face for answers. "Harry your cheeks are on fire what's-" _Oh_. She felt his clothed dick rub against her thigh causing her to swallow back.

Harry was about to go into his rut.

"I can't take you, Louis. I won't have you hate me more you have to get out. You have to _go_. There's no one else I can- I want to have but I won't f-force myself I-" Harry grip his teeth his hands coming up and hitting the tile beside her head trapping her against the wall in front of him.

Despite the fact that Harry demanded she go she shook her head fighting all her inner instincts to obey because this was _Harry_. Harry fighting to restrain himself because he didn't want her to hate him. Harry demanding she leave because even though every primal instinct he had was to take her he was denying it because he was so fucking sure she didn't want him. Harry not wanting to force himself on her like she forced him into her.

Harry was way too good for her but that wasn't going to stop her from loving him. From giving into her soul and not fighting this anymore. Because he _needed_ her just as much as she craved him.

Louis shook her head and before she even had a chance to comprehend what she was doing she lifted onto her toes connecting their lips. It took a few moments of Louis just kissing him for Harry to snap into reality parting her lips with his own to slip his tongue in her mouth. Her hands reached up gripping at his soaked curls to tug him closer.

Louis couldn't think because Jesus Christ is was _Harry_. It was like nothing around her even mattered because she couldn't think, feel, or hear anything but Harry. How gentle Harry was being with her despite his current state of mind, the sensation of Harry's skin grazing her, the little noises he was making, but mostly the way he could completely own her.

Harry pulled back from the kiss slightly. Louis' body moved back up to catch his lips once more but his thumb pressed to her bottom lip softly caressing it causing her to look up at his with half lidded eyes. His eyes were blazing with lust and want but there was still a flicker of _Harry_ in them holding wonder, doubt, and worry.

"Don't do this cause you think- _fuck_ " He groaned squeezing his eyes shut fighting hard to still be so present when she was naked and drenched in water right in front of him ready for him.

"Its you, Harry. I- Its always been you." Louis spoke her voice cracking.

It was like her words broke something in him because his hands found her waist in exact synchronization as his lips fell to hers. His thigh moved between her legs lifting her up until she got the hint to wrap her legs around him.

Louis' hands quickly slipped down his chest and in between her legs to yank at his boxers before they fell to the floor of the shower with a wet slap.

Without even warning he steadied her hips and slammed up in her causing her to whip her head back back arching to connect their chests screaming out.

For the first time in weeks Louis felt completely whole.

With great effort Louis opened her eyes staring down at Harry who's lips were cherry red and parted in gasps, cheeks flushed a scarlet, and completely dialed. She felt his hand snake up her back to grab the back of her neck yanking her down to connect their lips sloppily.

Harry's hips rocked up against hers in a rapid pace before he set his hand above her shoulder so she couldn't slide that far up the wall intensifying his thrusts casing her to dig her nails into his back in a sharp downwards motion.

"S-so fucking tight." Harry moaned against her lips before moving to suck at her shoulder causing her to bare her neck as he sucked his way over to the junction where her shoulder met her neck. His tongue flickered out and lick over the water droplets practically teasing her.

"T-take me- Harry make me y-yours- Wanna be yours." Louis begged rocking her hips back against erratically his her grip on his tightening as she felt her body heating up.

Harry gasped at Louis' words his knot formed at the base of his cock causing pick up his pace slamming into her mercilessly causing her to scream out as she came tightly around his cock right as he popped inside her with a loud moan of her name his legs giving out as he sank to the floor of the shower her trapped against the wall as he sucks at her neck.

It was like a repeat of the first time all over again. Except his hands were slowly trailing up her sides as he sucked different marks into her neck avoiding the spot he was just previously licking over.

Once her head cleared she leaned back against the wall his lips falling from her neck in the progress and traced the swallows on his chest.

"You didn't bond with me.." Louis whispered before arching her back with a whimpered moan feeling a new wave of his come pumping into her causing her eyes to roll back a new bound of pleasure wiping through her.

"Shhhh, baby." Harry reached forward pulling her to his chest their body's slipping under the spray of the water.

When Louis' body stopped trembling from her second orgasm she sighed against his neck nuzzling into his embrace wrapping her arms back around him trying to prevent him from letting go.

"I'm not letting go, Louis.." Harry whispered against the shell of her ear as if he knew what she was thinking. "I didn't bond with you because I want it to be when we're both sure."

Owch.

Louis tensed up ready to push him away when he tightened his grip on her shaking his head.

"When _you're_ ready. When you're sure Zayn isn't wh-"

Pulling back just enough so he was looking in his eyes she shook her head. "You fucking idiot." Louis whimpered out a few tears escaping her eyes as Harry look at her with a completely shocked expression.

"My body tried to _kill_ me because I thought you let me go. I am miserable all the time because everyday when Niall and Liam come to see me they're so _happy_ and pregnant and here I am sixteen weeks pregnant with _your_ baby and you won't even talk to me about it! You won't come to the appointments or look at me!" Louis' nails dug into Harry's shoulders as she tried not to let a sob out.

"You avoid me like I'm some sort of plague but I can see you! I can see how miserable and worn down you are and I don't know if its because you want me and you're not taking me or your soul wants me and you don't.. I-" Her words were muffled against Harry's lips but she quickly pulled away an angry express on her face. "I was _talking_ Ha-"

Harry chuckled cutting her off as he softly reached up to caress her bottom lip. "Can't get anything past you can I?"

What the fuck? No answers. This was so typical Harry if she wasn't connected to him right now she'd kick his ass.

"Say it." Harry spoke out a smile over his lips. And if she wasn't so caught up in figuring out what he wanted her to say she'd take in the fact that this is the first time she'd seen him smile in weeks. The fact that the color was back in his dimpled cheeks and his green eyes were positively shinning.

"Say what you twat?" Louis huffed out her bottom lip jutting out in a pout.

"Oh shove off, Louis. Just say it you stubborn girl." Harry's words were light and playful and it sent her heart soaring.

Of course he'd want her to say it first. The prick.

Rolling her eyes with a hint of a smirk over her lips she caught his gaze reaching her head up to brush his sopping curls back before bringing her hand down to softly caress at his cheek.

"You can pull out of me now, you stubborn ass." Louis spoke causing Harry to throw his head back in a loud guffaw and shit. Louis wasn't aware you could look a someone so adoringly than she is right now as she watched the crinkles appear near his closed eyes, his mouth wide open in a rumbling laughter, and dimpled cheeks a deep pink.

Harry didn't come back to it once he was done laughing just pulled out of her and stepped out of the shower turning off the frigid water before wrapping a towel around his waist. To Louis' surprise he grabbing one for her wrapping it around her and even picking her up before carrying her to his room where he plopped them before down on his bed.

"Ugh it stinks in here." Louis spoke wrinkling her nose looking around at the clothing piled in the corner and the dirty dished stacked on his desk.

" _Louis_." Harry groaned pulling her back against him nuzzling his face into her neck.

Louis knew he wanted her to let him get some rest but he wasn't fooling her she felt his smile against her skin.

Once she felt his soft snoring against her neck she rolled over in his arms gently reaching up to softly trail her fingers over the apple of his cheek and down over his lips softly speaking the words he wished for earlier before falling into a sound tear less sleep for the first time in weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I'm so, so, so sorry this is a day late but yesterday I was literally away from a computer all day and couldn't publish! Waaaaa, I'm sorry please love me. Anyways I start college Monday so Friday might not be the next update but the weekend is a good time as ever, right? 
> 
> ANYWAYS ENDGAME HAS BEEN CHOSEN AND IF BY SOME REASON YOU DIDN'T PICK UP WHAT HAPPENED THAT ITS LARRY BECAUSE LETS ADMIT IT SHE IS PREGNANT WITH HIS CHILD OF COURSE THEY ARE ENDGAME. 
> 
> I'm sorry for yelling I'm just super excited! Now don't hate me also but this doesn't mean happies there will at least be like one or two more chapters of like confusion and I love you guys so don't give up on me yet! This chapter was inspired by Unconditionally - Katy Perry. If you haven't heard it listen and cry because its perfection.
> 
> Comments and Kudos are mucho appreciated, heh. x


	8. I'm Only Human

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis doesn't feel like herself.

Anne had two formal parties during the holiday season- two really big ones that is. She had, what Gemma called, the Annual Styles Christmas Eve Gathering. It was mostly family, which was pretty large, and close friends. The attire was semi-formal meaning, from the wrath of God, Louis didn't have to wear heels.

However, since it fell on her birthday Lauren talked to Anne and got her, in the matter of two days, to completely redo her whole decorations adding less of a Christmas theme and more of a modern red and silver adaptation, that kinda reminded Louis of a winter wonderland, for her birthday.

Watching the men come in and out of the house for hours setting up flowers, tables, moving furniture, and hanging _mini chandeliers_ she got a little tired. The party was the next day and she was not in the mood to sit around and watch as these poor men had the haul trucks full of things through the snow and up into the house.

Louis cuddled herself deeper into her jacket, since they had to leave the fucking door open, and slipped on her boots because she swore her toes were about to fall off.

Pouting she wrapped her arm around herself walking up the stairs only for Anne to stop her on the way up grabbing her hand and leading her towards the door.

"Uhh, where are we going?" Louis asked shuttered in the winter air.

"You need two dresses. Gemma is waiting at the shop." Anne said shrugged as she unlocked her car as she dragged Louis towards it.

Sputtering she stop dead in her tracks looking up at Anne with a raised eyebrow. "Come again?" She croaked. Cause _no_. She got that it was semi-formal but she was _not_ going shopping. Not sixteen weeks pregnant and looking like she was sporting some sort of beer belly.

"We have your birthday party tomorrow and the New Years Formal Party and you need dresses for both. Come on Gemma is waiting and she needs approval on her attire also." There was a finality in her voice that had Louis slipping into the car sinking further into her seat staring down at her hands pouting.

Once they arrived at the dress shop she was automatically whisked off by two older woman who set her up in a dressing room with only three words given by Anne.

Short, red, with straps.

 _Brilliant._ Louis thought to herself as she sat in the dressing room waiting for the woman to dig through their stock for whatever they interpreted Anne's vision of Louis' dress to be while she went off to go find Gemma.

Funny though they came back with about sixteen dresses and right off the bat Louis told them to put eight of them back on the racks. There was no way she was going to be caught dead in anything with a see through mid-section, skin tight, or open in the back to where she felt her ass was about to fall out.

The woman left her alone in the dressing room promising her that anything they liked they could have tailored and sent to the house first thing in the morning and for a moment Louis wondered how much money Anne really had but threw the thought aside as she slipped into the first dress.

Surprise, surprise it didn't zip up all the way and her whole world seemed to have come crashing down in that moment.

Six dresses later- with none of them zipping up, Louis threw the latest one at the mirror feeling tears slip from her eyes sinking down to the ground wrapping her arms around herself. She hadn't stepped out of the dressing room once to show anyone the dresses and they were getting worried but she didn't care.

Of course getting pregnant meant she wasn't her size anymore but she didn't know that it meant she wouldn't fit into _anything_.

There was a knock at the door and Louis just reached her fist over slamming it against the door shaking it.

"Go away!" She sobbed curling more into herself hiding her face against her knees. "I hate this place!"

Louis didn't know how much longer she sat on the floor crying before the lock on the door turned and she soon felt large warm hands pressed against her sides gently rubbing up to her arms calming her. A body plopped down behind her pulling her towards their chest securely holding her to them.

"What's the matter, Pup?" Harry whispered in her ear gently caressing her bare arm.

All Louis did was turn around wrapping herself around him burying her face in his neck whimpering. She didn't want to admit anything about her insecurity with her weight, especially to Harry. The last thing she needed was him getting offended because it was _his_ baby inside of her doing this to her body.

"Gotta talk to me, babe. Tell me what you want." Harry softly spoke his hand gently moving down her back melting her from the inside out.

"They're too small.. I look fa-" Before she could even finish her sentence Harry was pulling her back holding her face between his hands staring deeply into her eyes.

"You're _not_ fat." He growled and even though his voice sounded deadly serious his eyes sparked with passion letting her know he was in no way mad at her.

_Fat._

"I feel like I am!" She argued back choking on a sob.

"Never, Pup. _Never_." Harry whispered reaching a hand down softly resting over her small bump a smile erupting over his lips. "You're pregnant with my baby, Lou. _Mine_. There's no way I could ever let you believe that you're anything but beautiful. You're growing out baby inside of you."

Louis gave Harry a watery smile before looking up seeing two dresses left on the rack and nibbling on her bottom lip feeling Harry reach forward brushing some hair behind her ear.

"They're just dresses." And Louis couldn't help but laugh a little at that because yeah they are _just dresses_ and only Harry could come in here and make her laugh about something she'd just been crying over.

Standing up she walked over picking up the maroon off the shoulder bardot dress with with a pleaded bottom. Licking her lips she slipped into it pulling it up over her boobs trying to situate the sleeves when she felt Harry clasping the hook and zipping it closed.

Louis swallowed looking at her reflection and felt herself suck in a light breathe.

_Don't cry._

The top part of the dress had a sweetheart neckline opening slightly in the middle to show her bust fitting snug over her ribs before flowing out into the skirt right where her belly starts.

It was obvious that she had a belly in the dress and she felt like hiding away crying until she felt Harry's hands come around from behind her placing them over her belly.

Louis eyes moved up to his face through the mirror watching the way he just stare at her belly in complete fascination causing her insides to practically turn to mush. He was looking at _her_ the way she's watched Liam look at Niall for years.

She didn't realize she was crying until she absentmindedly reached her hand up to wipe at her cheek and hiccuped on a little laugh as she wiped them away meeting his eyes in the mirror.

"Lets go show mum." Harry spoke his voice slightly hoarse before giving her a dimpled smile intertwining one of their hands practically dragging her out of the dressing room from excitement to the sitting room where Anne and Gemma were talking seriously.

Harry moved to stand behind her returning his hands to her belly before letting out a cough causing the ladies to turn and look at Louis both cooing.

"Oh, Louis, that's beautiful." Anne said standing up and walking over to get a closer look.

"You know we'd get a better look if Harold would step away for two seconds." Gemma snickered from the couch turning back to her phone scrolling through something.

"Yes, Harry, could you step back a second I need to see if there's anything that needs to be done." Anne said looking up at Harry with a raised eyebrow as he hesitantly took a step back his hands slipping from her belly, Louis immediately missing the contact.

Anne circled her before stopping in front of her and nodding her head. "She going to need one of those bras that Gemma bought last time Jan, other than that I think its perfect. You can see you're little bump." Anne cooed reaching forward to gently place her hand on her belly.

Louis blushes nodding before one of the ladies came back rolling a rack of silver dresses making Louis audible groan.

"Oh hush Louis, you know we have the formal New Years. The theme is silver and blue so we agreed that you and Harold will be wearing silver."

Matching. Louis and Harry will be _matching_?

"Well everyone on the family will be guests are required blue." Anne corrected herself.

Just kidding.

Louis looked back at Harry who give gave her a shrug before walking back over to her wrapping his arms around her waist again nuzzling his face against her cheek making her giggle. "Promise its not as bad as you think, they're loads of food."

Louis hummed at the though feeling slightly hungry then turned around in his arms placing her hands lightly on his chest picking at invisible lint. "Harry, uh why are you here?" Not that she didn't want him to be, because she did, it was just she had barely seen but glimpses of him the past two days since they slept together.

"Mum said you needed me, so I came." Harry spoke simply reaching a hand up to gently caress her cheek. "I'll always be here if you want me to."

Feeling her cheeks heat up she went to speak before Anne was snapping causing Jan to come up grabbing Louis' hand tugging her towards the room. "Let's go little one we got some dresses for you."

Once Louis was in the room she was handed a floor length silver and white dress with sheer straps, a sweetheart neckline, and a dark silver beaded bodice. Sighing she slipped it on slowly before zipping up the side and looking at herself in the mirror.

The bodice was slightly tight but the light fabric from the bottom lightly fell over her belly clinging to it almost gently. Swallowing back she pushed her hair behind her ear before picking up the bottom and exiting the room walking over to everyone her head down until she heard the muttering stop.

Louis turned looking at the mirror turning this way and that before turning over to everyone shrugging. "This looks like some form or a wedding dress." Louis muttered looking up at everyone getting mixed reactions.

Anne had her eyebrows scrunched taking in everything while Gemma was smiling widely nudging a very unresponsive Harry.

"Alright, that's a no." Louis said quickly running back to the dressing room, about tripping over the dress several times. Louis came out several times to Anne just waving her away and other times she refused to come out in just about half the dresses. She was giving up hope until she tried on the seventeenth dress.

It was a strapless silver-grey piqué dress that hugged her upper chest falling just above her belly with a off white floral. The neckline was sweetheart with a slit in the front showing her cleavage but it wasn't as dramatic as the red dress from earlier.

Looking in the mirror she notice that no matter what direction she turned you couldn't notice her bump due to the flow of the skirt and felt a pang of guilt inside her.

Walking out she crossed her arms behind her and bounced on her heels watching at Anne scrutinized every accent of the dress making her annoyingly turn and twirl until she nodded her head to Jan taking a phone call and quickly getting up to leave the room.

Once Louis was out of her dress and Jan snacked up her red and silver dresses hanging them in bags on a rolling rack along with four other dresses.

Louis was standing in front of the tie rack feeling the silky material over her fingers thinking when Anne came up behind her placing her hand on the bottom of her back nodding her head towards the door before returning to her phone conversation.

The rest of the day went just as miserable. Harry and Anne ran off to get his suit and Louis was to leave with Gemma to the International Mall for everything else needed which included, much to Louis' dismay, heels. After moaning and groaning for almost an hour, however, Gemma allowed Louis to buy these silver Toms for the Christmas Eve part but forced her into buying peep toe heels that were a dark grey over her feet and a silver on the platform.

Jewelry was much worse but she wasn't going to argue with Gemma seeing as she was nothing but kinda and understanding.

Louis ended up leaving four different jewelry stores with Cerise earrings, a diamond infinity necklace, a Tiffany bracelet, two circle stone hair clips, and a silver V-Midi ring. She was told that her jewelry for the New Years party was going to be picked out by Anne along with hers.

Louis was in all honest fine with that because she just wanted to get home and collapse on the couch with a large anything from McDonalds and then commence sleeping for a few weeks.

Once they had everything loaded in Anne's car Gemma grabbed Louis' wrist and turned her to examine her hair.

"Its quite boring don't you think?" She twisted a few strands between her fingers before smiling. "How do you feel about blonde?"

Louis sputtered shaking her head. "I'm _not_ bleaching my hair!"

"Calm down its peroxide but anyway, its boring and needs something done- let's go." Without listening to Louis' further argument Gemma grabbed Louis hand and took her to the salon and before she knew it she was sitting in a chair as some man snippet off pieces here and there and had her hair covered in so much tin foil she felt like the tin man.

About forty minutes later Louis was staring at her reflection in awe. Her hair was just short of her shoulder, styled in very light curls, and ombred from her natural chestnut to a darker sandy blonde. If she felt like a boy this morning- which she wouldn't admit, right now she felt like she got her femininity back.

Gemma completely spoiled her for the rest of the day getting her nails done, eyebrows waxed- which she kindly cursed the lady out for, and to a tanning bed. Which after extensive Googling and asking the woman who worked there to _swear_ that it wouldn't effect her baby she laid in the bed for only thirty minutes but surprising it was all it took for her to get her natural tan back from the depths of the winter.

By the time they were done with everything Gemma was driving, a very whiny, Louis back to their house around ten o'clock.

Inside it was still party a disaster but everything was coming together in a way that Louis could finally see where Anne was going with this party.

Slipping into the kitchen she opened the fridge and took out the container of pineapples before sitting on, rather than at, the island crossing her legs as she watched the men outside the window working to set up something out back in under bright lights.

Louis mind started to wander as she absentmindedly ate.

Tomorrow was her twentieth birthday. Lauren was supposed to show up with her younger friend and Zayn. But what if Zayn coped out again? _"He's just trying to get over you Louis, just give him time."_ She's felt like she's given him ages and he still hasn't come around. On top of that Niall and Liam were coming over and she just _knew_ all they were going to do was coo over each other and talk about the pregnancy.

Niall was a month pregnant and Louis was four. And as much as she loved them both to death if Niall made one more comment about how he hoped that their children would grow up and fall in love she was going to punch him in the throat- _very nicely_ of course.

Tomorrow was going to be a living hell, especially if Harry ran off again. They had sex, again, and he refused to bond with her. When they woke up the next morning Harry gave her a kiss on the forehead and went off to shower not coming back. Silly enough though she's found herself sleeping in his bed the past two nights only for the process to repeat every morning.

If she was being honest though he looked a million times better but he was never around anymore. Him showing up today while she was at the dress store completely threw her off. If he was avoiding her then why would he come when she needed him?

 _Fuck you, Harry Styles._ Louis groaned audibly thinking to herself.

Nibbling at the pineapple she didn't hear the door open signaling that Harry and Anne were home. A cough from behind caused her to squeal throwing the pineapple container to the ground whipping around to see Harry laughing loudly into the palm of his hand.

"Oh shove it! Anne is gonna kill me." Louis groaned hopping down as she collected the remaining pineapple into the container and throwing it into the sink.

"C'mer Pup."

"Shut up." She grumbled brushing past him to grab the mop from the furthest closet tucked next to the pantry running back and spraying the floor quickly cleaning up the juices.

"Lou." Harry repeated his voice playful.

"Not now, Curly." Louis begged going to walk past him once more before his hand caught her arm. She looked up into his eyes with an eyebrow quirked.

"Louis, two seconds?" With a roll of her eyes she nodded setting the mop aside and following Harry to the living room where he sat down and patted his lap.

Snorting she took the seat next to him, which in retrospect was of course a bad idea but this was Louis she was full of them. Harry scooped her up sitting her on his lap wrapping an arm protectively around her waist. He leaned down nuzzling his nose against her cheek lightly brushing his lips against her jaw causing her breath to come out shuttered as her eyes fluttered shut.

"You uh? You w-wanted to talk?" Louis stuttered as she turned her face so their lips brushed ever so lightly causing a tingle down her spine.

"You look beautiful." Harry slowly drew his hand up her back his words muttered quietly against her lips.

"Then why don't you take a picture." Gemma snickered from the staircase causing them to jolt apart Louis blushing a deep red. "Oh no, no don't stop on my account it was quite the show." She spoke leaning against the banister biting down on an apple wiggling her eyebrows.

"Gem, doesn't mum need you upstairs?" Harry spoke his tone flat not taking his eyes off Louis' face.

"Nope, Dobby is a free elf." She spoke through a mouthful causing Louis to giggle into her hand.

Harry groaned shifting Louis on his lap until she was situated so her back was leaning against his shoulder his hand resting on her upper thigh.

"I'm kidding, I just wanted to thank Louis for letting have a girls day. Don't get to do that often, surprisingly, with a gay little brother." Gemma pushed off the banister biting into the apple once again before walking back up the stairs leaving them alone.

On right, _gay_. It was almost like she'd forgotten why she was in this mess in the first place. Its like she's been living in this fantasy word the pat few days forgetting the fact that she's trapped Harry with her. He hasn't bonded with her because he doesn't _really_ want her. His soul and Alpha genetics want her because of the baby.

Stupid.

Really, really, fucking stupid.

Tucking her feet under his thigh she picked at her pants trying not to cry.

"Pup?" Harry whispered using two fingers to gently turn her face to look at him. "Hey, what's the matter?" He asked furrowing his eyebrows as he caressed her chin with his thumb the tip of his finger lightly brushing the bottom on her lip.

"Nothing its uhm, nothing. Dan hormones." Louis joked dryly with a weak laugh before reaching for the remote only for Harry to move his hand from her chin to engulf hers.

"Got something for your birthday." Harry started placing her hand on her knee before moving a bit to get a box from behind him on the table. "I remember you saying you really liked my watch and stealing it all the time so.." He moved his other hand from her thigh to open the box revealing a Michael Kors stainless steel watch with a round case crystallized with Swarovski elements.

"You-?" Louis looked up at him her lips a gap trying to form a sentence as he just chuckled taking it out and slipping it on her let wrist clasping it shut.

"Happy Birthday, Louis." Harry pressed a kiss to her temple setting the box aside wrapping his arms around her waist.

"My birthday isn't until tomorrow." She sputtered out still staring at the watch wondering what the hell it meant. Was he being friendly? Did it mean he actually cared about her? She was hopelessly confused.

"Don't worry about it Louis, you're welcome." Harry joked with a chuckle moving one of his hands to gently rub over her belly.

"But its not my bi-"

" _Louis_ , don't worry about it not every gift you get is going to be on your birthday." Harry spoke his voice losing its playfulness.

Louis nodded her head looking up at him giving a small smile. "Thank you Harry, I love it. Really."

Harry let out a deep breath reaching his hand up to lightly caress her cheek pulling her in so their lips were brushing as if he was waiting for her to make the last move.

But instead of leaning before she could even think it through she blurted out, "You're gay."

_Shit. Oh fucking shit, cocks way to go._

Wasn't that romantic?

Harry pulled back licking his lips and nodded. "You're right. What was I thinking?" He spoke monotonously but a glimmer of hurt flashed through his eyes. Before picking her up off his lap and setting her gently on the couch and quickly walking up the stairs.

"Jesus Christ!" Louis groaned falling back onto the couch covering her face with her hands internally beating herself up. Once she was done moping she rolled herself off the bed making her way upstairs. For a moment she stood in front of the door but decided just to walk in.

All the lights were off so Louis slowly shut the door careful not to make any noise as she crept across the room taking off her pants and shirt reaching blindly on the floor picking up one of Harry's to slip over her head.

Climbing in the bed she shifted until she was face to face with a softly snoring Harry. With a wobbly smile she slowly reached up caressing his cheek with her fingertips before brushing her hand through his hair feeling the soft strands slipping through her fingers whispering sweet nothings to Harry until she fell asleep hours later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Chokes self* I'm so, so sorry this took forever and ten days to update but I've honestly had no time with my college classes and the stress gave me writers block. This chapter is exactly 4k words which I thought was kinda cool. If you hate me I completely understand because you've waited this long and this chapter was a complete mess and shitty but the next one will be better- well I have plans for it to be at least. 
> 
> Anyways this chapter was inspired by Christina Perri - Human I legit listened to this song 185 times over and over to get this chapter written, aha. I used to be in love with her and then for some reason I stopped listening to her and when I found her again on Pandora it was like HALLELUJAH PRAISE JESUS. You should listen to her if you haven't cause she's perfect. 
> 
> I love you all and I swear that the next update won't take this long! So if you bear with me and my shittyness I promise it'll be worth it. :D
> 
> Comments and Kudos are mucho appreciated, heh. x


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